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We catch you up on this week’s episodes of your favorite programs!
By Wade Gum |
Posted June 15, 2007 11:35 AM |
EDITOR’S NOTE: There’s a lot of good programming out there these days, and here at Wizard Universe, we want to make sure you don’t miss a moment of any of it. In the interest of keeping you up to speed with your favorite series, we’ve recruited our resident pop culture critic, Wade Gum, to run down the past week’s slate of programming and tell us what went down and, in some cases, what blew up in each episode of the hottest shows this week. Check back every Friday for a new installment of our TV roundup.—RM
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John From Cincinnati—“His Visit: Day One”
The Recap
Meet Mitch Yost. He used to be the king of the beach before an unfortunate knee injury forced him to retire from professional surfing. His son, Butchie, continued the Yost legacy by becoming “the beast” of the beach before a descent into drugs made his life hit the skids. The only good thing Butchie has done since is to father Shaun, who lives with his grandfather Mitch and is about to enter the field of pro surfing himself.
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Even though he doesn’t surf professionally anymore, Mitch still hits the beach early in the morning when he can ride the waves away from prying eyes. Today is different because there’s an audience. Linc, Butchie’s former surfing sponsor who led him down the dark path of drugs, is watching Mitch surf. Also watching him is a mysterious drifter named John who pretty much just materialized on the beach. The only things John says are “the end is near” and “Mitch Yost needs to get back in the game,” but Linc isn’t interested in his ramblings.
He’s just here to inform Mitch that he fully intends to start sponsoring Shaun, beginning with a big surfing competition in a few days. Mitch doesn’t want to hear any of it and warns Linc to stay away from his grandson. Mitch returns to his car and washes the saltwater off himself when something very strange happens—he floats. Mitch inexplicably hovers a few feet off the air for a few minutes before finally coming back down to Earth.
Across town, Meyer Dickstein and Ramon are cleaning up a derelict old motel before the new owner arrives. Meyer is the favored lawyer of the Yost clan while Ramon is the former manager of the motel. The two allow Butchie to squat in one of the rooms out of respect and admiration for his surfing ability. Butchie returns their generosity by occasionally giving them some money and doing lots of heroin in the hotel room. Shaun pays his father a visit to let him know about the big surfing competition, but Butchie is in a bad way and expresses no interest in watching his son compete.
When Mitch gets back to the surf shop run by his wife, Cissy, he’s upset to learn that Shaun is competing. He forbids Shaun to compete in any surfing competitions and chastises his wife for encouraging it. As if he couldn’t get any more distraught, Mitch also tells his wife that he’s pretty sure he has a brain tumor, seeing as he levitated and all. Mitch thinks his mind must be playing tricks on him. Cissy secretly sends Shaun over to a family friend named Bill, who will give him a ride to the competition.
As for John, he’s just been ambling aimlessly around the countryside. He gets picked up by Vietnam Joe, who asks for 50 bucks to give John a ride. Like magic, John turns out his pockets and he has exactly 50 bucks. During the ride, we get to see more of John’s odd behavior as he frequently answers questions with “some things I know and some things I don’t” and repeats everything people say to him as if he’s learning the language. After John mentions Mitch Yost in passing, Joe decides to drop John off at Butchie’s room.
John does what he’s told and goes to Butchie’s room. Butchie is expecting some money and angrily refuses to open the door until his 2,300 bucks arrive. Like magic, John turns out his pockets and has exactly $2,300. Butchie is more than happy to let John inside after that. He’s a little confused by the whole situation though, because he’s never met John before. He assumes John must be some star-struck fan who wants to pay for surfing lessons. Butchie is more than happy to oblige a man who has that much cash to throw around.
Over at Bill’s house, Shaun is ready to go to the competition. Bill is an eccentric fellow and a retired police officer. His only companions are his birds, which he treats with lots of love and respect. He’s positively heartbroken when one of the birds, named Zippy, drops over dead. As Bill prepares to dispose of his bird, Shaun strokes its feathers one last time and it miraculously springs back to life. Close call, huh? After that little miracle, Bill and Shaun head out on the road.
Cissy gets into an altercation with a stock boy at a Costco and ends up getting led from the store in cuffs and thrown into a squad car. In a grand coincidence, the cop car she’s in passes Bill just as his vehicle gets a flat tire. He’s forced to pull over into the motel parking lot of all places. It seems the whole gang has congregated at this location.
Butchie is arguing with Mitch about Shaun in the parking lot, and to make things worse, the motel’s new owner, Barry Cunningham, has finally arrived. It seems he has a history with Butchie back in high school and seeing his tormentor once again causes him to go a little mental and pull out a gun. In the midst of all the confusion and panic, John starts ranting and preaching about random subjects like Shaun and one of the rooms in the motel. Bill sneaks up behind Barry and takes the gun out of his hand before he can commit suicide. Al Bundy wins again!
Tempers calm down once everyone arrives at the police station to deal with Cissy’s arrest and Barry’s breakdown. John forges a fast friendship with Shaun, much to the chagrin of Bill, who finds this mysterious stranger to be a bit shady. Mitch talks about his brain tumor with Butchie and the floating incident. Conveniently, Mitch starts floating again right then and there and Butchie witnesses it. Guess that puts the capper on the brain tumor theory.
After everyone is released from prison, most of them go out to the beach for John’s first surfing lesson from Butchie. It becomes very obvious to Butchie that John doesn’t know the first thing about using a surfboard, so he encourages John to fake a cramp once they all get out in the ocean. However, after observing Shaun ride a wave, John seems to have acquired all the surfing skill in the world through osmosis. As he rides a wave like a pro, a concerned Bill looks on and lets John know that he has his eyes on him.
The Review
Well, that was certainly interesting. David Milch’s follow-up to “Deadwood” is as far from that Western curse fest as you can get, but it’s equally as interesting. Even without the odd supernatural element of John from Cincinnati, the show is still compelling. Given that it’s a surfer drama, that’s saying something about the quality of the writing and the great cast. The addition of John is just icing on the cake at this point.
“John From Cincinnati” feels like an odd blend of “Six Feet Under” and “Carnivale.” Let’s hope that the show is as successful as the former so that Milch will actually have time to complete his story and reveal the secrets behind John’s behavior and powers. With the tone and concept, this show probably isn’t going to be the breakout hit that HBO so sorely needs after the departure of “The Sopranos,” but it should build an impressive little following of dedicated viewers who can’t wait to see what happens next.
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Traveler—“The Out”
The Recap
It’s been 44 hours since the Drexler building exploded and Will Traveler set up Jay and Tyler to take the fall. They arrive in Deer Harbor after finding a bus schedule Will left in his office. After slipping the ticket broker some money, they figure out that the person who used that schedule was named Daniel Taft. They poke around the town and eventually discover a bookstore called Have Books: Will Travel. Sounds like as good a clue as any.
Jay enters the store and has a conversation with the proprietor, Maya. She claims she doesn’t know anyone by the name of Daniel Taft or Will Traveler, but the fact that mysterious men have her shop bugged and are listening in on the conversation would say otherwise.
Tyler comes up with a new avenue of investigation and decides to look up Daniel Taft in the phonebook. The only address for Taft is a dock. When the duo arrives, they find a boat at the dock named Maya. It’s all coming together! They break into the boat and have a look around, quickly determining that Will intended to use this boat to flee the area and live at sea for a long, long time.
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Their investigation is interrupted when a man enters the boat claiming to be Daniel Taft. He’s none too pleased to see two guys rustling through his personal belongings. He listens to their story about Will Traveler but claims he’s never met anyone by that name in Deer Harbor. He invites the pair to have a few beers out of the fridge while he handles something outside.
Of course, he’s really one of the shady guys who was monitoring the bookstore earlier. He locks Tyler and Jay inside the boat and attaches a bomb to the side. Luckily for Tyler and Jay, Will had plenty of weapons stockpiled on board. Jay uses a pistol to shoot the lock off the boat door and escape before it goes kaboom. The Porter, who helped Tyler and Jay in previous episodes, looks on from afar.
The pair decides to go back to the bookstore and get the real scoop from Maya. She leads them outside the building so they won’t be monitored and takes them to her house. But she really didn’t need to worry about the monitors anymore because Porter has already killed them all. Maya knows tons of personal details about both of them because she was Will Traveler’s lady love. The last time she saw Will was two weeks ago. Despite what Jay and Tyler might believe, Maya insists that Will isn’t a bad guy and was only doing his duty to serve his country.
The evil conspiracy cabal arrives to take Maya into custody. She gives Tyler and Jay a very important key before rushing them out the door. The two decide to hop another train and go search for more clues when they see something very surprising: Will Traveler! Before they can get to their old “friend,” one of those convenient passing trains comes along and obscures their view. Porter tries to get a hold of Will Traveler, but the evil conspiracy cabal comes along in its mysterious white van and throws Will inside.
The Review
The pace of this show is really starting to pick up now. After this week’s developments, it appears that Will Traveler might not be as bad as we thought. Sure, he set up his friends to take the fall for a museum bombing with an elaborate series of deceptions, but he may have been manipulated himself! Everyone is looking for Will Traveler now (except the FBI because they’re stupid) and he’s been kidnapped by the evil shadow cabal. Jay and Tyler may be forced to rescue their enemy/friend in order to clear their own names.
The main plot of Jay and Tyler on the run is great, but the FBI subplot is seriously starting to drag the show down. Over and over we have to see just how irresponsible Fred Chambers is and how on the ball Agent Marlow is. She’s starting to think perhaps Jay and Tyler didn’t blow up the building but her theories get shot down at every opportunity, giving her the chance to grumble about it over and over. Chambers is the clichéd bumbling authority figure and one of the few weak points that keep the show from being something truly special.
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WWE Monday Night Raw
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The Recap
It’s the three-hour draft spectacular! It’s also Mr. McMahon appreciation night! Could this episode of “Raw” be any better? The show begins with a message read by Vince McMahon as he welcomes us to the celebration and assures us he’s in proper control of his faculties. Superstars from all three brands will compete in matches with the winner’s brand receiving a random draft pick. Every superstar is eligible (except Triple H, who doesn’t work Tuesdays)!
The first match is WWE champion John Cena versus world heavyweight champion Edge. Wow, we’ve never seen this match before! If Edge were the ultimate opportunist, he’d lose on purpose to keep new competition from coming to “SmackDown” and possibly send one of his main rivals to “Raw”. Of course, logic doesn’t factor into professional wrestling storylines.
John Cena gets a little carried away and attempts to F.U. Edge through the “ECW” table, but ends up getting counted out in the process. Edge wins and “SmackDown” gets the first draft pick. Of all people, it ends up being the Great Khali. Cena isn’t sorry to see him leave “Raw” and neither are any of the viewers at home.
As part of McMahon appreciation night, various wrestlers and celebrities show up to give their feelings on the man. Jesse Ventura is first and he shows up in a video clip looking like a homeless person. He makes Nick Nolte’s arrest photo look positively handsome. He calls McMahon a dictator and generally talks about how much he doesn’t like the guy. What a shocker.
The second draft-pick match of the evening is “ECW’s” CM Punk versus “Raw’s” Carlito. The second-generation superstar has a little more trouble with CM Punk than he did with Torrie Wilson last week. Even after Carlito delivers the backstabber, CM Punk perseveres and hits the Go 2 Sleep on Carlito for the win and the draft pick. The Boogeyman gets drafted to “ECW”! You can’t get much more extreme than worm eating.
The third draft-pick match is “ECW’s” Balls Mahoney versus “Raw’s” Umaga. No one could possibly predict who wins this one! Yeah, it’s a squash match that lasts about 20 seconds. Not a good showing for the “ECW” “legend.” “Raw” finally gets a pick and it’s King Booker. “Raw” gets the best pick? That’s also a big shocker!
The fourth draft-pick match pits “ECW” champion Bobby Lashley against “SmackDown’s” Chris Benoit. “Raw” might as well draft Bobby Lashley since he’s on it every single week. The lack of charisma in the ring at the same time threatens to open a rip in the space-time continuum and swallow up everyone in attendance. Lashley powers out of the Crippler Crossface and the Sharpshooter to defeat Benoit and earn another draft pick for “ECW”—and it’s Chris Benoit! “SmackDown” is getting hosed big time.
Up next, the “real” Extreme Expose shows up when the Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young come out to strip down to their evening gowns and bark like dogs, just like when Vince McMahon made Trish do the same thing. This is all the work of that evil Diva Search winner Ashley, who was suspended by McMahon on last week’s “SmackDown.” A great moment in television for sure.
The fifth draft-pick match sees intercontinental champion Santino face off against United States champion MVP. Can the Power Ranger defeat the plucky underdog? Heck yes he can, thanks to the power of Zordon! MVP wins with the Playmaker but denies the audiences the pleasure of the Ballin’ Elbow. “SmackDown” receives…Torrie Wilson? “SmackDown” just keeps getting hosed.
Bret “The Hitman” Hart stops by to give his feelings on Vince McMahon. Surprise! He doesn’t like him and wants to punch his face in! Speaking of people who need to have their faces punched, the Miz shows up for the next match representing “SmackDown.” His opponent is Snitsky from “ECW.” Snitsky wins the match, but after attacking the Miz after the bell rings, he gets disqualified. As a result, Chris Masters get drafted to “SmackDown”! That’s certainly a fair trade-off for Chris Benoit and King Booker!
The seventh draft-pick match pits Candice Michelle against Kristal. After an uneventful match, Candice wins and…Bobby Lashley gets drafted to “Raw”! Well, that certainly does shake some things up. As a result, Lashley can no longer be “ECW” champion as per Vince McMahon’s orders. Lashley relinquishes the title but vows he will be a champion again on “Raw.” Can Cena conquer these odds? There will probably be a tournament for the “ECW” title and Kelly Kelly will win it.
The eighth draft-pick match is a triple threat with “Raw’s” Jeff Hardy, “ECW’s” Elijah Burke and “SmackDown’s” Batista. One of these wrestlers is not like the other. One of these wrestlers just doesn’t belong. Yeah, the guy who was a world champion just a few weeks ago easily dispatches the lower carders. With Batista’s victory, “SmackDown” gets the Nature Boy, Ric Flair.
The final two draft picks are decided by a battle royal with participants from all three brands. Representing “SmackDown” are Matt Hardy, William Regal, Chavo Guerrero, Mark Henry and Chris Masters. Representing “ECW” are Tommy Dreamer, the Sandman, Marcus Cor Von, Matt Striker and Kevin Thorne. The originals and the new blood on the same team? Representing “Raw” are Johnny Nitro, Kenny, Eugene, Viscera and Randy Orton. It’s every man for himself and the surviving member wins two draft picks for their brand. Matt Hardy and Randy Orton are the last two competitors remaining. Orton eliminates Hardy to win the draft picks for “Raw.” Sorry Matt—maybe if you destroyed more hotel rooms you’d win more matches. “Raw” receives Snitsky and Mr. Kennedy.
A crazy Vince McMahon comes out to the ring to give a final speech at the end of his appreciation night, but drops the microphone and heads backstage. He silently walks past all the various wrestling superstars and outside the arena to his limo. Once he enters, the limo explodes into a fiery inferno! It must have been that evil Voodoo Kin Mafia! They killed Vince McMahon once and for all! Now he’ll be all burnt up like Kane!
The Review
Poor, poor “SmackDown.” The show always finds a way to claw itself up from the abyss and become the best WWE show on television, even though most people consider it the “B-show.” Then what happens? “Raw” and “ECW” raid all of its talent and leave it in the dust once again. It’s just not right. Then again, we may just get to see a second Edge-Hardy feud since there’s absolutely no main eventers left on “SmackDown” outside of Batista!
“ECW” is certainly a much stronger show after the draft. The useless fat like Snitsky and Bobby Lashley got cut while strong wrestlers like Chris Benoit got added. With Lashley forced to relinquish the title, “ECW” could put on a pretty entertaining tournament for the belt with Benoit, CM Punk, Marcus Cor Von, Elijah Burke and the rest of the roster. “ECW” could actually become the best show from a wrestling standpoint. Crazy, huh?
“Raw” got the biggest influx of new talent, which means they got the biggest number of good wrestlers to feed to John Cena. They’re blowing it all at once with the main event at Vengeance by having John Cena face all the former champions, but afterwards they should be able to have a few entertaining storylines as Cena defends his title against Lashley and King Booker. It will be interesting to see how the crowd reacts to Cena and Lashley fighting, given that they’re both faces. Will Lashley’s stint as the “ECW” champion gain him any fans?
There’s an additional supplemental draft this Sunday that will probably involve the people lower down the card (although the Boogeyman and Torrie Wilson are far from headliners). What crazy high jinks will occur? Will Eugene get traded! “Raw” would never recover from that.
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