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We catch you up on this week’s episodes of your favorite programs!
By Wade Gum |
Posted May 4, 2007 2:15 PM |
EDITOR’S NOTE: There’s a lot of good programming out there these days, and here at Wizard Universe, we want to make sure you don’t miss a moment of any of it. In the interest of keeping you up to speed with your favorite series, we’ve recruited our resident pop culture critic, Wade Gum, to run down the past week’s slate of programming and tell us what went down and, in some cases, what blew up in each episode of the hottest shows this week. Check back every Friday for a new installment of our TV roundup.—RM
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Smallville—“Noir”
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 Here’s a hypothetical situation for you: Let’s say you have a series that is on the bubble and could potentially not be renewed for another year. You also have lots of lingering plotlines still open. What do you do with the few episodes you have left for this season? If you said “do a gimmick episode,” congratulations: You’re hired as a new writer on “Smallville.” At least it’s not a musical.
Boy reporter Jimmy Olsen, whom we haven’t seen for a really long time, surprises his girlfriend Chloe with a romantic date while she’s stuck on late-night phone duty at the Daily Planet. They sit down with a big bowl of popcorn to watch “The Big Sleep,” a classic detective story from the ’40s starring Humphrey Bogart. Isn’t it a primary rule of show business not to show better programs during your own?
The date gets interrupted when someone sneaks into the Daily Planet office and starts making noises. Jimmy and Chloe run into the lobby to discover a man fleeing the facility and Lana Lang slumped over in the elevator with a gunshot wound. Ooh, a mystery!
The paramedics arrive and whisk Lana off to the hospital for what feels like the fifth time in the span of a week. Predictably, Clark shows up while wearing that same stupid red jacket of his. Lionel Luthor arrives to apologize for getting Lana mixed up in all of this while Jimmy plays CSI by snapping photos of the crime scene. Lois Lane also has some fun defacing an official police crime scene as she digs for the story here.
While playing boy detective with all the snapshots he’s taken, a mysterious assailant creeps up behind Jimmy and knocks him on the head. In his unconscious state, he has a dream about all the characters in the show living in a1940s noir movie. Let’s just all pretend this never happened. Perhaps if we concentrate really hard and never bring it up, we can somehow alter the course of history and erase these segments from the space-time continuum.
When Jimmy awakes, he has newfound knowledge that will allow him to solve the mystery. He’s suspicious of Lana’s motives for coming to the Daily Planet in the first place. She may have been trying to take something important up to someone on a different floor and just ended up stumbling into the Daily Planet after being shot.
Chloe and Jimmy use the building’s exit records to figure out who was inside the building and able to knock Jimmy over the head. They find the squirrelly reporter responsible for it but he claims innocence. Lana came to him with a big story but ended up getting shot. Before he can reveal what information Lana was going to share, he’s killed by an assassin.
Jimmy pulls his best Superman impersonation and tackles the assassin to the ground. Chloe gets pushed off a railing during the course of the battle, but Clark shows up to save the day, of course.
When Lois shows back up at her apartment, Lionel Luthor is waiting for her. Lois pocketed a silver cigarette case from the crime scene earlier and Lionel saw her doing it. There was a USB drive hidden inside the case and Lionel opens it. On the USB drive is a video meeting between Lex Luthor and Senator Burke talking about the Arial project. Lana knew about it and Lionel didn’t. Whoever is protecting Senator Burke had the guts to put a hit out on the wife of a Luthor.
The next day, Chloe visits Lana at the hospital. Lana says that Lionel Luthor is forcing her to spy on Lex. Trying to give that information to a reporter was the only way she could get out from under Lionel’s thumb. Lana also says that she married Lex to protect Clark. Lana makes Chloe swear not to tell Clark any of this. His life could depend on it.
In a bittersweet ending, Jimmy makes the front-page news after subduing the attacker. His heroics attract the attention of the Daily Planet’s photo editor and Jimmy gets sent off on assignment to Milwaukee. He leaves a nice play list on Chloe’s iPod as a memento though, so that’s really cheesy and sweet.
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Heroes—“Five Years Gone”
We have to go, Marty! Where? Back to the future! When we last saw Hiro and Ando, they had escaped Linderman’s casino by teleporting five years into the future, after New York had been destroyed by the big explosion. While exploring Isaac’s apartment, they ran into Future Hiro and his elaborate timeline of events that led to the explosion. Future Hiro reveals that the city was destroyed when Sylar exploded. He’s pleased to learn that Past Hiro saved the cheerleader, because that means Sylar didn’t absorb her regenerative power and could be killed. Unfortunately, Past Hiro never killed Sylar like Future Hiro intended him to. It’s imperative that Past Hiro returns to his own time to kill Sylar before he destroys the city.
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Before Past Hiro and Ando can jump back into the past, Matt Parkman shows up with a gaggle of Homeland Security soldiers. They take Past Hiro into custody while Future Hiro and Ando flee through one of the back doors. In the future, all superpowered individuals are considered terrorists and taken into the custody of the government. Future Hiro is one of the biggest terrorists around after his repeated assaults on government strongholds. Future Hiro needs to rescue his past self in order to fix history, but he can’t do it alone. The Haitian has the ability to cancel out his powers, making a rescue attempt at Homeland Security impossible. He needs real power to save the day. He needs Peter Petrelli.
Future Hiro and Ando teleport to a Las Vegas strip club where Niki is finishing up one of her erotic dances under the Jessica pseudonym. She’s not very pleased to see Hiro, telling him that the war is over and they lost a long time ago. She says Peter isn’t interested in playing hero anymore and gets upset when Hiro mentions he has a way to stop Sylar. The only bit of help she gives the pair is telling them the current whereabouts of Mr. Bennet. After Hiro and Ando leave, Peter makes himself visible and has a cliché anime scar on his face. Peter and Niki have an argument over helping Hiro and letting go of Micah, who died in the explosion five years prior.
Back in New York, Matt Parkman begins his interrogation of Past Hiro. He’s confused that when he reads Hiro’s mind, he remembers nothing from the past five years and seems quite sincere in his claims that he hasn’t done anything wrong. Flustered, Matt decides to give President Nathan Petrelli a call. Nathan is glad to hear that Hiro is finally in custody but is upset that Matt can’t get any information out of him. He’s sure that Hiro and his cohorts have something planned for the anniversary of the explosion.
Nathan doesn’t have long to dwell on Hiro’s plight, as he has a very important meeting with Mohinder Suresh. Ever since the explosion, Mohinder has been working to find a way to reverse the process that gives people powers and “cure” them. So far, he has been unsuccessful because it’s hard-coded into DNA.
In the meantime, Nathan has resorted to stopgap measures such as outlawing the breeding of superpowered individuals and tracking their movements. Due to the explosion, humanity lives in constant fear of people with powers. Since Mohinder can’t find a solution, Nathan says it’s time for Plan B—the forcible extinction of all superpowered people. It’s not genocide, he claims. It’s self-defense.
In order to get the information he needs, Nathan sends Mohinder to New York so he can help Matt with interrogating Hiro. Mohinder becomes fascinated by the elaborate timeline Future Hiro created in Isaac’s apartment. Mohinder realizes that Hiro has the power to travel backwards in time and figures out that he’s trying to fix things. He remembers the day Peter told him about meeting a time traveler in the subway and his message to save the cheerleader in order to save the world. It’s hard to forget a marketing slogan that’s been beaten into your brain as much as this one has. Mohinder is excited about the possibility to prevent the explosion and runs off to talk to Past Hiro.
If you’re wondering what good old Mr. Bennet is up to these days, he’s still at Primatech Paper in Texas. He works on the down low to set up superpowered families with new identities so they can hide from the authorities. As is customary, he isn’t very thrilled to see Hiro either. Hiro says that he needs Bennet’s help to find a few superpowered people so that he can stage a rescue. Hiro brought D.L., Candice and Molly Parker to Bennet so they could get new identities, but now Hiro needs their assistance. Bennet is reluctant to help, but when Hiro reveals that it was his time traveling that saved Claire’s life, Bennet has a change of heart.
He visits Claire, who is living underground in Texas and working as a waitress at a diner. No one will ever recognize her because she dyed her hair brown! She’s also engaged and about to be married, but the wedding might never happen. That’s because Mr. Bennet shows up with a bag and tells her she needs to skip town yet again because people are asking questions about her. Things have been dangerous ever since the Linderman Act was passed four years ago and after Mrs. Bennet left, Claire is all Dad has left. Claire refuses to go, however, because she’s tired of running.
Back at Primatech, Hiro goes over his plan with Ando. D.L. will allow them to phase into Homeland Security while Candice’s shape shifting will help them with the guards. Ando asks what Future Ando is up to, but Hiro doesn’t tell him because of space-time continuum junk. Before Hiro can tell Ando something of grave importance, Matt Parkman busts in and tranquilizes Hiro. Like a deus ex machina from the heavens, Peter Petrelli shows up out of nowhere and freezes time. He then teleports himself, Ando and Future Hiro back to the strip club in Vegas.
Mr. Bennet arrives back at his office to find it in shambles. Bennet is the one who tipped off Matt about Future Hiro’s whereabouts. Bennet and Matt have an agreement where Bennet turns in the dangerous powered individuals and is allowed to hide the innocent ones. Janice and Matt’s young son are two of the people Bennet has hidden. Matt thanks Bennet for all he has done for his family, but that isn’t going to prevent him from busting a cap in him. Nathan isn’t going to be pleased when he hears there are two Hiros, so Matt can’t go back empty-handed. He digs into Bennet’s mind to find out where Claire is and then puts the man with the glasses down for good.
Mohinder arrives at Homeland Security to question Hiro about the past. He brings a copy of the last issue of Isaac’s 9th Wonders in which Hiro travels into the future and kills Sylar at the end of the story. Mohinder excitedly tells Nathan about Hiro’s ability to go back into the past and how he can change everything for the better. Nathan isn’t hearing that. He’s only concerned with the present. During his speech for the anniversary of the explosion, he’s going to announce that Mohinder has discovered a cure for powers and that everyone can come in voluntarily for treatment. Of course, there is no cure and Mohinder will actually be killing everyone who comes in to be cured. The world will be united in grief and eventually they’ll just be united.
Nathan needs to know if Mohinder will be one of his team players and Mohinder reluctantly says he will. Matt Parkman then arrives and tells Nathan about the second Hiro and that he has captured Claire. Nathan goes off to visit his daughter and tells Mohinder to start his “curing” on the Past Hiro.
Claire and Nathan have a very special father-daughter bonding moment. Claire is understandably miffed that Nathan is actively supporting the arrest and extinction of his own kind, but Nathan is quite proud of his efforts. Actually, Nathan is acting very peculiar. He talks about how much power he has acquired and how he merely wants to eliminate the competition now.
Thanks to Candice’s ability, he’s been able to assume the presidency and take control of the free world. Wait a minute, that’s not Nathan Petrelli! It’s Sylar, who stole Candice’s shape-shifting powers and has been posing as Nathan for who knows how long. He finally gets the opportunity he’s waited so long for and slices Claire’s head open, acquiring her healing abilities and making himself nigh-invulnerable.
While Future Hiro is recovering from being tasered, Ando has a conversation with Peter. The beans get spilled as Peter tells Ando that he died during the explosion and that Hiro has never been the same since. Deep down, Peter thinks that Hiro wants to go back in time and fix things so badly so that he can save Ando’s life. Niki comes back home and is upset to see Peter gallivanting around with Hiro yet again. She yells at him for trying to take everyone’s problems onto his shoulders and fix things that aren’t his fault.
In anger, Peter reveals that everything is his fault. It wasn’t Sylar who exploded in New York and killed all those people—it was him. Peter is responsible for the deaths of Micah, Ando and everyone else caught in the explosion. Nathan merely lied in order to protect him. With that said, Peter goes off with Ando and Hiro to save the world and fix things to the way they should be.
“Nathan” is giving his big speech at ground zero of the explosion and introducing Mohinder’s new superpower “cure.” Meanwhile, Peter and Hiro break into Homeland Security old school style without stopping time just so they can have a good fight. Upstairs, Mohinder is about to kill Past Hiro while the Haitian looks on. Hiro begs for his life so that he can fix things. Suddenly, Mohinder sticks the Haitian with the syringe of “cure” instead of Hiro and kills him. He tells Hiro that he was supposed to do that. It was even in the last issue of 9th Wonders. He’s supposed to help Hiro go back in time and ultimately kill Sylar.
Future Hiro and Peter expertly make their way through the upper levels of Homeland Security with the Haitian gone and unable to block their powers. Future Hiro tells Past Hiro that he will help send him back in time so that he can fix things. Before he can do so, Matt Parkman shows up and fills Future Hiro full of lead. Peter uses his powers to hold Matt off and give Past Hiro an opportunity to get the heck out of there.
A frustrated Matt calls Nathan on his cell phone to tell him what Peter is up to. Angered, Nathan flies off toward Homeland Security in front of a huge crowd of onlookers and countless cameras. He shows up and uses his phasing ability to grab Peter and prevent him from helping Hiro. Peter is no dummy and knows that his brother doesn’t have that sort of power, so Sylar drops the act and changes back into his normal appearance. The two have an epic showdown in the hallway that resembles a laser light show at the planetarium.
Hiro is still shell-shocked after watching his future self get killed and is ready to concede defeat because he doesn’t know how to travel backwards in time. Ando forces his friend to snap out of it by saying he believes in Hiro and has seen the man that he will become. Hiro concentrates and manages to send the two back to their own time. Now comes the hard part—killing Sylar
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Lost—“The Brig”
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Locke has been a busy boy since the last time we saw him. Eight days ago, he blew up the submarine and saw that his father, Anthony Cooper, had somehow gotten to the island by way of a “magic box.” Ben tells Locke that the Others are moving to a new location since the castaways discovered them and that Locke is invited should he want to go. Locke accepts the offer and semi-officially becomes “an Other.”
Five days later, the Others have arrived at their new home and Locke is helping people set up their tents. Ben calls Locke in for a little meeting as he’s listening to Juliet’s tape recording about Sun’s pregnancy. Ben tells Locke that they’re going to swoop in and kidnap the pregnant women on the beach yet again for their own protection.
Ben is recovering remarkably and can already walk with a cane. He says he has Locke to thank for that and that he can’t wait to show him what the island can do. Unfortunately, Locke isn’t ready to learn these things yet. Ben says that as long as Anthony is alive, Locke will never be free from his past. Locke is crippled by the memories of what he used to be. Ben says that Locke needs to make a gesture of free will and commitment by killing Anthony. That’s right—you need to make a gesture of free will by doing what I tell you.
Ben awakens Locke later that night, gives him a knife and tells him to kill his father right then and there. Locke wrestles with the decision as his father looks on and verbally berates him for being a coward. With all of the Others watching, Locke finally says he can’t do it and spares his father’s life. Ben apologizes to the rest of the Others, saying that John Locke is obviously not the man they all thought him to be.
Richard Alpert, the Other responsible for recruiting Juliet, has returned to the island and has a candid conversation with Locke the next day. Richard tells Locke that Ben wanted to embarrass him the previous night. When word got around the camp that a man with a broken spine was able to walk again, people got excited. That could only happen to someone who was very special.
Ben has been wasting everyone’s time with novelties, but Locke is a reminder that most of the Others are on the island for more important reasons. Richard wants Locke to find his purpose on this island and he can only do that by getting rid of his father. Since Locke won’t murder Anthony, Richard gives him the file of someone who might: Sawyer.
The next day, the Others are packing up and getting ready to move yet again. This time, Locke isn’t invited. Ben says that Locke needs to clean up his mess before he’s allowed to rejoin the group. They’ll intentionally leave a trail for Locke to follow, but if he isn’t carrying his father’s dead body when he arrives then he shouldn’t even bother making the trip. Locke formulates a plan and makes his way back to the beach, reading through Sawyer’s file on the way and then burning it.
Locke confronts Sawyer at night while he’s taking a leak and tells him that he has captured Ben. Since Ben is the man responsible for the heinous treatment Sawyer received while in captivity, Locke figured Sawyer would want to get a few shots in on him. He wants Sawyer to kill Ben and he knows he can do it because he killed a man in Sydney. Locke tells Sawyer that he read about his history in a file and that the Others know about all of them. Despite a bevy of reservations about the whole thing, Sawyer follows Locke off into the jungle.
Sawyer is interested in what else Locke learned about him in the folder. He knows that Sawyer’s real name is James and that his parents died a long time ago in a murder/suicide. Locke touches on some raw nerves and Sawyer snaps, tackling him to the ground and putting a knife to his throat. He suspects that Locke is working with the Others now and leading him into a trap.
Locke assures him that he isn’t, and the only reason he came to Sawyer is because he doesn’t have it in him to kill Ben. Sawyer and Locke resume their journey, but Sawyer says he isn’t killing anyone. They’ll just take Ben back to the beach. Locke says Sawyer will change his mind once he hears what the prisoner has to say.
Ben is supposedly locked inside the brig of the Black Rock pirate ship deep in the jungle. When Sawyer goes into the brig, he finds a man chained up with a bag over his head. When he removes the bag, it becomes immediately obvious that it isn’t Ben but Anthony Cooper instead. Before Sawyer can leave, Locke shuts the door to the brig and locks him in. As Sawyer futilely tries to escape, Rousseau pays a little visit to the pirate ship herself to pick up some dynamite. Despite seeing Locke by the door and hearing Sawyer’s cries for help, she practices a little “don’t ask, don’t tell” and just leaves with her explosives.
Anthony is the only one who sees the humor in all of this. The last thing he remembers before waking up on the island is getting in a car wreck and being attended to by the paramedics. As the parachutist said last week, the rest of the world thinks Flight 815 was already discovered off the coast of Bali and that everyone on board died. With this information in mind, Anthony figures that he’s died and that this island is hell. It’s punishment for his life as a con man and pushing his own son out of a window.
Sawyer is interested in the fact that Locke was crippled, but the con man talk is what really piques his interest. Anthony can’t resist bragging about this conning exploits and even starts listing off all the aliases he’s used over the years, including Tom Sawyer. An enraged Sawyer demands to know if Anthony ever went through Jasper, Alabama. Anthony eventually confesses to being the con man responsible for making Sawyer’s father kill both himself and his wife.
It’s the moment Sawyer’s been waiting for all his life—the chance to confront the con man who destroyed his family. He gives Anthony the letter he wrote as a child pledging to kill Tom Sawyer and forces him to read it. When Anthony tears the note in half, Sawyer loses it and wraps the chains around Anthony’s neck. It’s not quite as cool as the hanging from “Die Hard,” but it’s effective, as Anthony quickly chokes to death.
With Anthony having shuffled off this mortal coil, Locke opens the door to the brig and thanks Sawyer for his assistance. As a token of his appreciation, Locke informs Sawyer that Juliet is a mole and that the Others will be raiding the beach camp in three days’ time to abduct the pregnant women. Locke gives Sawyer the tape recording that Juliet made in regards to the pregnant women so that he’ll have evidence to show the rest of the castaways.
Locke says that he’s going back to the Others, but not as an undercover spy or infiltrator. He’s on his own path now. Before the two part ways, Sawyer asks Locke if all that stuff about him being a cripple is true, to which Locke replies, “Not anymore.” Sawyer makes his way back to the beach while Locke begins his long trek and carries his father’s corpse on his back. If the dead Anthony starts talking to Locke now, it’ll be like an issue of Hellboy.
While all this psychological intrigue has been occurring, Charlie, Jin, Hurley and Desmond have been hiding the presence of the parachutist from the rest of the castaways. In particular, they’re making sure not to let Jack know about her because they don’t trust him anymore. At Hurley’s insistence, they let Sayid in on the secret and bring him to meet the girl, whose name is Naomi. She says she was part of a search-and-recovery team hired by Penelope Whitmore to find Desmond. They weren’t looking for Flight 815 because everyone else believes its wreckage was already found.
Penelope gave her some coordinates that seemed to go nowhere, but one day the clouds cleared and she saw the island. Of course, all her instruments went crazy as soon as she saw it and she was forced to bail out of her helicopter. Sayid finds her story interesting, but he’s more fascinated by Naomi’s satellite phone. He fiddles with it outside but of course he gets no reception. He isn’t exactly careful with the phone and Kate sees him playing with it. He’s forced to tell Kate what’s up, but he makes her swear not to tell Jack.
Predictably, Kate immediately goes off to tell Jack. She wants a little privacy since Jack is with Juliet (as always), but Jack pulls that “anything you have to say to me you can say in front of her” card. Kate says that his allegiance to Juliet is the very reason no one trusts him anymore and why no one has told him that a woman parachuted onto the island with a satellite phone. Jack is kind of upset that no one likes him anymore and storms off to go see Naomi. Before he leaves, Juliet asks Jack if they should tell Kate a secret yet, but he says it isn’t time. Yeah, don’t tell the girl that she’s pregnant and about to die. That’s really nice.
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24—“1:00 a.m.–2:00 a.m.”
Remember last week when Jack had that foolproof plan to rescue Audrey and prevent Cheng from getting the chip? Yeah, that didn’t work out. Quite the shock. Not only does Cheng have the chip, but Audrey is seriously messed up in the head and completely bonkers. Jack is fully at fault here since he “went rogue” and newly installed CTU chief Nadia isn’t going to show him any leniency. Both Audrey and Jack are taken back to CTU, although the latter is taken in under custody.
President Daniels’ evil assistant Lisa returns to get a change of clothes for when she spends the night with the creepy president. She meets up with Daniel Jackson at her apartment. Okay, it’s not really him, but it’s the same actor from “Stargate SG-1.” It’s really a man named Mark Bishop. It seems these two are having a little affair and Lisa is feeding him information about all the activities going on in the White House.
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Daniels holds a meeting with the Russian president about the suitcase nukes that are now in U.S. custody. The president somehow knows about the circuit board that has fallen into Cheng’s hands and threatens Daniels with an ultimatum. Daniels and his inner circle appropriately reason that there’s a spy within the White House. A mole in “24”? No one would ever anticipate such a thing!
Meanwhile, the evil Cheng is uploading information about the circuit board to his evil Chinese cohorts. It turns out the chip has sustained some damage and is useless without the expertise of someone who knows how to override some of the security features. Why not go after Morris? After all, he’s already given dangerous technology to terrorists earlier in the day.
After Lisa and Bishop finish their lovemaking in real time, Lisa takes a shower while not-Daniel Jackson relays information back to his mysteriously evil mastermind. Not-Daniel Jackson tells the evil man that Lisa has no idea what he’s up to and that “they’re all set.”
Audrey and Bauer arrive back at CTU. Audrey is still catatonic and unresponsive. She must still be traumatized after “The Nine” got canceled. Audrey is suffering from the effects of physical and mental torture at the hands of the Chinese and is unable to do anything but repeat simple phrases. CTU wants to extract any information about Cheng they can from Audrey but it doesn’t look like that can be accomplished without the aid of potentially deadly chemical injections.
Tom Lennox does some snooping around and comes up with a suspect for the White House mole. He discovers that Lisa has called Mark Bishop three times within the past few hours, a man with connections to Russian intelligence. Daniels is quick to dismiss this, but Tom doesn’t necessarily think Lisa is the one doing the squealing. She’s been staying in the same hotel as Bishop numerous times, so Tom reasons they’re having an affair. Daniels reveals that he’s been sleeping with Lisa as well, officially transforming “24” into a daytime soap opera.
Doyle isn’t cool with what CTU is planning to do with Audrey and decides to…GO ROGUE! He takes off Jack’s handcuffs and allows Jack to subdue him to make it look like he got attacked. Jack proceeds to beat the crap out of many innocent CTU security personnel and escape with Audrey. CTU is quickly alerted to Jack’s escape and the entire facility is put on lockdown. Jack doesn’t want to escape though; he just wants a quiet moment with Audrey. He takes her to a secluded location and tries to make her remember who she is.
Despite his best “Miracle Worker” impersonation, Jack is unable to even make Audrey talk. CTU gets an entry team to break down the door to the room Jack is holed up in. Jack holds off Nadia and the rest with his gun and refuses to stand down unless he gets a guarantee that Audrey will be safe. Audrey takes the opportunity to be useful and spit out the word “Bloomfield,” the place where she may have been held by the Chinese.
Lisa returns to the White House and Daniels grills her about the evil lobbyist Mark Bishop. He threatens to charge her with treason for her actions and the information that was leaked to the Russians. Daniels tells Lisa to go back to Bishop and convince him that the Americans have recovered the missing component. If she doesn’t comply, Daniels will classify her as an enemy combatant and throw her in prison to rot.
Back at CTU, real American hero James Heller comes to visit his daughter in the ICU. Doyle discovers that the Bloomfield lead might be a solid one, so CTU dispatches teams to lock down one of the buildings in that area where Audrey was most likely held. Heller decides to pay Bauer a little visit as well while he’s here. Heller is decidedly nonplussed about Jack. He blames Jack for what has happened to Audrey since she went to China just to try and find him in the first place. Heller warns Jack to stay away from his daughter. Heller says that Jack is cursed and everything he touches ends up dead, including the quality of “24.”
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