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Tom Hanks, Kevin Smith and the Swayze highlight this week’s DVD releases.
By Wade Gum |
Posted May 8, 2007 9:30 AM |
Backslash: The Ultimate Internet Predator
This horror title may be too clever for its own good. Yeah, the backslash is a typographic marker on a keyboard and you use keyboards on the Internet, but let’s not applaud the filmmakers for their little joke just yet. We use forward slashes on the Internet! Maybe if Backslash were the ultimate MSDOS predator or the ultimate C++ predator, it would make more sense. If you’re going to integrate something nerdy into your film titles, do it right!
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 Besides, the title of the film makes it sound like one of those “Dateline: To Catch a Predator” specials. The film’s climax probably involves “Dateline’s” Chris Hansen luring the predator to a house and embarrassing him with a hidden camera setup.
Because I Said So
If you’re looking for a decent chick flick to entertain your little lady this weekend, this film about an overbearing mother trying to hook her daughter up with a responsible man might just be your ticket. Who knows, you might even enjoy it since it’s from the director who brought us “Wonderfalls” and “Heathers.”
It’ll also give you plenty of opportunities to be a jerk and tell her to do things “because I said so.” The cleverness of your quips will provide comfort after you’ve been slapped into oblivion. It’ll be just like living inside an episode of “The King of Queens.”
Big
Remember when Tom Hanks did films that were intentionally funny instead of making people laugh with ridiculous haircuts like in “The Da Vinci Code”? The ’80s truly were a magical time. In this incredible science fiction story, a young boy wishes he were big and soon he transforms into Tom Hanks. He should have made a more specific wish to not be so nerdy and lanky.
Elizabeth Perkins tries to rob the cradle and seduce the newly gigantic boy. Could she be thrown in jail for that? Here’s a crazy bit of trivia: “Big” was nominated for two Oscars! Tom Hanks got a nod for Best Actor and the screenplay got nominated as well! See, Tom Hanks? You can get Oscars even with fun comedies! Come back to us Tom!
Catch and Release
Forget the releasing part, movie audiences didn’t even want to go fishing for this romantic story starring Jennifer Garner and Timothy “Hitman” Olyphant. How could they resist though? It’s the latest film in Kevin Smith’s plot to become a legitimate actor! This may blow your mind, but he plays a lighthearted, nerdy guy! Imagine that.
It’s a shame this film wasn’t really about fishing. The world hasn’t had a good movie about angling since Joe Pesci and Danny Glover teamed up for “Gone Fishin’.” There’s nothing quite as exciting as watching an expert fisherman bait his hook, toss it in the water and wait 30 minutes for an unfortunate fish to bite it. It’s certainly more exciting than your average romantic comedy.
Dirty Dancing: 20th Anniversary Edition
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 Are you crazy about Swayze? First we get a special edition of “Road House,” then “Point Break” and now “Dirty Dancing.” It seems the time of Swayze is once again upon us. He shall rise like a phoenix from the ashes and deliver us unto a world full of movies with men who don’t wear shirts and have feathered mullets.
Nobody puts Baby in the corner. Nobody. The power of dance will never be vanquished by uptight squares while Swayze is on watch. You’ll give your heart to Johnny Castle as quickly as Baby did as you watch the shirtless Swayze dance across the screen and into your dreams. It’s hard to believe it was only 20 years ago that Swayze gave the world the time of its life and launched a million jokes about Jennifer Grey’s nose.
The 4400: The Complete Third Season
Over the years, 4,400 people vanished from Earth due to alien abduction, and then all simultaneously reappeared on the same day. That’s pretty inconvenient for everyone else on Earth. The least they could have done was send a postcard and make an appointment for the day they wanted to come back.
Season 4 kicks off on June 17, so you’ll have plenty of time to pick up all the DVD sets and catch up if the premise interests you. It remains to be seen how successful the fourth season will be without the services of the wildly popular Peter Coyote. Without the powerful star wattage of our favorite “E.T.” and “Legend of Billie Jean” actor, “The 4400” faces an uphill battle to match its previous seasons.
Voltron: Defender of the Universe—Volume 3
Trusting the fate of the world to five people in lion robots is risky enough, but putting a 12-year-old in one of the robots is just plain insane. No matter how brilliant Pidge happens to be, no one wants to put a kid young enough to still play Yu-Gi-Oh! in charge of defeating galactic threats.
Apparently no one learned a lesson from Voltron, as another 12-year-old was made part of Power Rangers Turbo a decade later. Won’t somebody please think of the children? How many preteens have to die before some court holds these superhero teams accountable and sues the pants off them? The Green Ranger will be doing community service before you know it.
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