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June 26, 2007: Creepy puppets, wisecracking robots and classic superheroes highlight this week’s DVD releases.
By Wade Gum |
Posted June 26, 2007 9:20 AM |
The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3: The Complete Series
And so we enter the era of Mario cartoons without live-action Captain Lou Albano segments. It truly is a tragedy. On the positive side, all of Bowser’s illegitimate Koopa clan children are now in animated form. Will we ever learn the identity of their mother? Were the Koopa kids the product of a drunken one-night stand in Vegas? Did their mother tuck her tail and run away the second she saw how ugly her progeny were?
Whatever the case, the situation certainly shows that King Koopa isn’t as bad a guy as we all thought he was. He’s supposed to be the king of evil, but he’s really just a concerned parent doing his best to bring his kids up right in a single-father household. Maybe he only wants to kidnap Princess Toadstool so that his kids will have a positive female influence in their lives. You ever think of that? Huh? King Koopa is the hero of the series.
Dead Silence
James Wan and Leigh Whannell have a thing for creepy puppets. They’re the duo responsible for starting the “Saw” franchise and bringing us Billy the puppet and his pimped-out tricycle. Their latest film is about a ventriloquist gone mad who was brutally murdered by her fellow townsfolk and buried with all her tiny wooden friends. The dummies went missing shortly after that, and now they periodically turn up at night and signify the deaths of innocent families.
At this point, could the artistry of ventriloquism possibly be tarnished any more? No one goes to see ventriloquism shows anymore and the dolls themselves are frequently demonized by negative propaganda like the Goosebumps “Night of the Living Dummy” books and all these killer-puppet movies. It’s time someone stood up for the men who shove their hands up the behinds of wooden dolls.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Vol. 11
There are several conflicts that have defined the human race: North vs. South, Axis vs. Allies and the most bitter and important conflict of all—Joel vs. Mike. The battle over the superior “Mystery Science Theater 3000” host has torn friends and family apart and once plunged an entire nation of nerds into darkness. Once both sides agree that no matter whom the host was, the show was the funniest thing to ever grace the airwaves, the great conflict will certainly end.
Fans of both hosts will be placated with this latest set, which includes episodes featuring each of them. Joel serves as your most excellent host for “The Ring of Terror,” “The Indestructible Man” and “Tormented,” while Mike takes over the quipping duty for “Horrors of Spider Island.”
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 The New Adventures of Batman
Yeah, everyone loves the animated Batman series from the ’90s, and a new generation of fans is learning how great Batman is with “The Batman,” but there were other animated version of the Caped Crusader that no one pays attention to. Take this 1977 Filmation series, for example. It has Batman, Robin, Batgirl and even the creepy little Bat-Mite! How could you not love it?
Why do animators think we want annoying little creeps to antagonize our protagonists? Do people really enjoy the antics of Wendy, Marvin, Gleek, the Great Gazoo and any number of fifth wheels that exist solely to annoy and pester the heroes? Then again, maybe Batman likes worthless sidekicks. He seems to have no shortage of them.
The New Adventures of Superman
More Filmation goodness! The Man of Steel had his own animated series starting in 1966 where he battled powerful foes to save Metropolis. This DVD collection puts the 36 episodes in one easy location. Unfortunately, the shorts featuring “he whose name must not be spoken” are not included in the collection. His name cannot be invoked for fear of being struck down from above by lightning, but it rhymes with “pooperboy.” If you say his name three times in front of a mirror, the ghost of Jerry Siegel appears and makes you pay him royalties.
Pride
No, it’s not a “Se7en” spinoff, it’s an inspirational sports movie about swimming and proving the world wrong by succeeding on your own terms. It also has Terrence Howard and Bernie Mac in it. That star power not enough for you? Okay, how about the fact that international superstar Tom Arnold has a role in it? Heck, you better reserve your DVD over the Internet well ahead of time, because whenever Tom Arnold appears in a movie, the discs sell out fast.
Reno 911!: The Complete Fourth Season
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 Just in time for the Reno 911 movie’s release and Season 5, it’s the DVD set of Season 4! Your favorite dysfunctional law enforcement officers are back to make you laugh with situations so zany they can only be seen on this show…and the average episode of “Cops.”
It’s amazing how many criminals created for this show for comedy purposes are similar to the real criminals you can see on reality television. In fact, none of the criminals seen on “Reno 911” can come close to the guy from “Cops” who got naked, barricaded himself inside a school and fended off officers with a water hose. Also, none of the high jinks the Reno cops have gotten themselves into are any more ridiculous than the officer from “Cops” who broke into a woman’s house to save her from a fire, only to discover the fire was in the house behind her. God bless the boys in blue.
“Reno 911” is so funny you can almost forgive the show’s creators for writing “Taxi,” “The Pacifier” and “Herbie: Fully Loaded.” Almost.
Ultimate Fighting Championship 67: All or Nothing
It’s that time again—time to watch grown men beat the crap out of each other in the octagon! After soundly defeating Rich Franklin to capture the middleweight belt, Anderson Silva went toe-to-toe with Travis Lutter, who won his title shot by winning the fourth season of “The Ultimate Fighter.” Unfortunately, he blew his big shot by showing up to the weigh-in overweight and then blew it a second time by being soundly defeated. All in all, it was a pretty bad showing for Travis.
This pay-per-view is also notable for two fighters’ UFC debut — new Light Heavyweight Champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic. Anyone who has watched Pride Fighting Championship events knew just how tough these two guys are; now UFC fans have gotten the chance to see them unleash some fierce beatings. Watching a man strike another man’s jaw with his fist is like poetry, isn’t it?
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