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June 19, 2007: The Animaniacs, the Powerpuff Girls and the Reno 911 crew highlight this week’s DVD releases
By Wade Gum |
Posted June 19, 2007 9:15 AM |
The Abandoned
Most horror films these days are weak remakes of Japanese films or plotless gore fests designed to turn your stomach. Thank goodness for variety. Last year, eight of these scary films were exhibited during “Horrorfest.” Most of them were released on DVD back in March, but “The Abandoned” was left out of the party because it was good enough to be shown in theaters by itself.
If the haunted amusement park rides, car phobias, evil ghosts and murderous families in the other films of “Horrorfest” thrilled and chilled you, there’s no way you can pass up checking out the last one. If you’re too big of a wuss to handle them, just remember you can always watch with the lights on. Then you can get your mommy to tuck you into bed and give you a kiss goodnight.
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 Animaniacs: Volume 3
This show was so packed with goodness that it was impossible to dislike. You have Slappy the Squirrel, Pinky and the Brain, Rita and Runt, Buttons and Mindy, Chicken Boo, the Hip Hippos, Katy Kaboom and the Goodfeathers all on the same show! Oh yeah, the Animaniacs themselves were there sometimes.
A doctoral thesis could probably be written about the plight of Chicken Boo. Is this really comedy? Laughing at a chicken with a severe identity crisis? A chicken that, despite his best attempts to change the nature of what he is, is met only with the scorn and hatred of a society that refuses to accept him? Chicken Boo isn’t comedy. It’s a profound statement on class warfare and racism.
Bridge to Terabithia
Kids and their blasted imaginations. They’re always opening the hidden doors to magical kingdoms where adults can’t go. Why can’t they stop having wonderful adventures and start preparing for the fast-paced environment of the modern economy? There’s no time for soaring on the wings of a majestic dragonfly when the market is in bull mode! Don’t waste your time taking your children to a movie they’re sure to enjoy; start drilling supply-side economics into their heads while they’re young and impressionable.
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Miss Potter
“Finding Neverland” showed us that people are willing to see movies about the lives of children’s book authors, so it’s only natural that Hollywood is following that one up with this biopic of Beatrix Potter, the woman responsible for that thieving Peter Rabbit.
The story treats Peter like some noble, Robin Hood-like hero for stealing Mr. McGregor’s vegetables, but everyone knows he’s nothing more than a common crook with no respect for property rights.
Mr. McGregor plants those carrots, waters those carrots and harvests those carrots to feed his family and earn a meager living. How is he supposed to get by with an evil rabbit devouring his cash crop? Maybe this movie will give us insight into the type of dark mind that would create such a villainous character.
Pinky & the Brain: Volume 3
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Pinky and the Brain’s world-conquering antics were popular enough to net them their own spinoff show and free them from the oppressive workings of “Animaniacs.” Now they were free to have an entire half-hour show to themselves! Whether or not the premise of the show is strong enough to stretch the joke that long is a matter of personal taste, but there’s no denying the sheer merchandising and catchphrase potential the two lab rats had.
Now you can relive the Brain’s numerous failed attempts to rule the world. Why does he even want to rule the world? He’s like a miniature Doctor Doom. Doesn’t he realize the intense work that goes into running an entire planet? A lab mouse is hardly suited for such an intense job. What does he even know about droughts in Africa or conflict in the Middle East? The Brain couldn’t even manage a McDonald’s.
The Powerpuff Girls: The Complete First Season
The Warner Bros. animation onslaught continues. Screw that “volume” stuff. Real fans want complete season collections, and now they’ll finally get it when it comes to the Powerpuff Girls. Their first encounters with such amazing villains as Mojo Jojo, Fuzzy Lumpkins, Him, the Gangreen Gang and Princess Morbucks are here for you to enjoy. You’ll also get plenty of fatherly wisdom from Professor Utonium’s end-of-the-episode talks. It’s just like an episode of “Full House” but with even more violence.
Reno 911!: Miami
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 The brave men and women of Reno, Nev., law enforcement are taking their act on the road. The group gets invited to a national law enforcement convention in Miami, but Lieutenant Dangle’s inability to book a simple hotel reservation leaves the crew shacked up in a spring break party hotel. When a terrorist biological attack occurs at the convention, every police officer is sealed inside as part of a quarantine.
Now the Reno crew are the only police officers in the entire city and have to try to maintain law and order in a city they have no knowledge of. It’s all the insane law enforcement you’ve laughed at on television blown up onto the big screen. As an added bonus, this film marks the first time in forever that every member of “The State” comedy troupe has appeared together. Maybe someday we’ll see DVDs of that show. Until then, this reunion will suffice.
WWE Judgment Day 2007
The number of WWE pay-per-views these days is getting out of hand. It seems like WrestleMania, Backlash, Judgment Day and One Night Stand all happened within two weeks of each other. It doesn’t help that they all featured similar matches with Edge vs. Batista, John Cena vs. the Great Khali, Bobby Lashley vs. Vince McMahon, MVP vs. Chris Benoit and CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke.
There are only so many times you can watch the same match before it becomes the WWE vs. your wallet. Give us a break, WWE! At the very least, give us some new matches! The draft lottery couldn’t have come at a better time. Now the dream match-up of John Cena vs. Funaki can finally come to fruition.
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