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THE HOT LIST: MAY 14, 2007
A look at the biggest comics, movies, TV and video game releases for this week
Posted May 14th, 2007 11:00 AM
Movies
Shrek the Third
Friday, May 18
Rated PG
 The second of the three summer blockbuster juggernauts lands this week. "Spider-Man 3" has already broken box office records and reclaimed its crown from "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest." Does "Shrek the Third" have enough firepower to create some records of its own? The first two films in the franchise made more money than the gross national product of several countries thanks to their family-friendly appeal and gross-out gags.
We have a lot to be thankful for when it comes to the Shrek franchise. As far as children's entertainment goes, it's pretty good. The fact that you don't have to sit through any songs is a real bonus. Also, as long as Shrek films keep getting made, Mike Myers will be kept busy and be unable to unleash anymore awful Austin Powers films upon innocent moviegoers. As long as the people behind Shrek keep Smash Mouth out of any future sequels, they're okay by us.
Video Games
MLB 07: The Show
Tuesday, May 15
PlayStation 3
$59.99
All the thrilling action of major league baseball is yours to enjoy with this year's edition of MLB. The excruciating amount of time between each and every pitch? It's here! The fun and excitement that comes from making roster changes between games? It's here! Hitting a million dingers in the Colorado Rockies' stadium as three people in the crowd cheer you on? It's here! This simulation is so accurate that all the pitchers on the Chicago Cubs develop freak injuries every other week! Just try and make it through a full season with Mark Prior! You can't!
Resident Evil 4
Tuesday, May 15
PC
$19.99
Who says PC gaming is dead? Just because the only marquee release of the week happens to be a port of a 2-year-old console game doesn't mean jack. Besides, it's the best Resident Evil game to date and an incredible action title for less than 20 bucks! Resident Evil 4 plays with the franchise formula by ditching the T-Virus and the Umbrella Corp. in favor of creepy voodoo zombie aesthetics and evil alien parasites.
In addition to the new story, Resident Evil 4 features revamped controls that make it easier than ever to target specific body parts and blow zombies to pieces. Leon Kennedy becomes a one-man arsenal with a steady supply of rifles, shotguns, grenades and rocket launchers stuffed in his pockets. Capcom was legally required to make players escort an annoying teenage girl through portions of the game; otherwise it would simply be too awesome and cause other game developers to quit in frustration.
Touch the Dead
Tuesday, May 15
Nintendo DS
$29.99
 Zombies are big in movies, comics and video games, but only the latter uses them in such innovative ways. The living dead have starred in pinball games, typing games and now they're in a stylus-touching game! Fend off the hordes of the living dead on Nintendo DS by jabbing them through the brain with a stylus! It makes for a fun game, but don't make the mistake of trying to fend off a zombie in real life with a stylus should the living dead apocalypse ever come to pass. Not even a slow Romero zombie is going to sit still for that crap.
Television
Bullrun Marathon
9 a.m. - 7 p.m. EST
Tuesday, May 15
Spike TV
"Drive" turned out to be a total failure on Fox television. However, if you're still in the mood to watch teams of people compete in a cross-country road race, then this Spike TV reality series is right up your alley. The teams drive their awesome cars throughout the country and those that take the longest to reach the checkpoints are eliminated. If they have a problem with that, they can take it up with host Bill Goldberg, who will then jackhammer them through the hood of a car.
If you've never seen the show before, now you can see ALL of the show with a "Bullrun" marathon on Tuesday, leading up to the season finale at 10 p.m.
Comic Books
All Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder #5
Frank Miller (W); Jim Lee (A)
DC Comics
Ha ha ha. Yeah, right. What type of suckers do you take us for? So what if it's on the Diamond Comics shipping list for this week? That doesn't mean anything. A true skeptic knows that this comic will never see the light of day. Even if you walk into your local comic store and see this thing on the shelf, don't be fooled. It's a fake! Your comic shop just put out fake copies of this issue on the rack so they can laugh at you when you try to pick it up and read it. It's the ultimate prank!
In the extremely unlikely scenario that this book is seriously being released this week, then it's a cause for celebration. The world's crankiest incarnation of Batman is quite hilarious as he tries to intimidate the frilly green pants off a young acrobat. We can't print some of the vulgarities that the Dark Knight unleashes in this comic series, but this book is definitely one of the funniest books to come out in a long time. Who cares if it's intentional or not!
Painkiller Jane: Vol. 1 TPB
Jimmy Palmiotti (W); Joe Quesada (W); Lee Moder (A)
Dynamite Entertainment
If you've been digging the new Sci-Fi Channel series based on the Painkiller Jane comics, here's the perfect opportunity to get yourself caught up on the printed adventures of the demented young woman with a healing factor. The costume of the comic book Painkiller Jane is less revealing and cheesecake than her television incarnation. In these books, she looks more like an escaped mental patient who rolled around in hospital gauze before breaking out of the loony bin.
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