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A look at the biggest comics, movies, TV and video game releases for this week
By Wade Gum |
Posted June 11, 2007 10:20 AM |
MOVIES
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Friday, June 15
Rated PG-13
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 Any television viewer has already been assaulted with hundreds of trailers and advertising spots for this film, to the point where it’s impossible not to know about it. If only that ill-fated advertising campaign on the backs of quarters hadn’t been shot down by the U.S. Mint, no one would have been safe from the marketing onslaught.
The movie centers on the Fantastic Four doing battle with the Silver Surfer, herald of the world-devouring Galactus. There’s lots of action, power switching and copious shots of Jessica Alba’s behind. We’ve all come to expect that. However, the real question is what Galactus will look like. Will we get a giant man in a purple suit, an alien ship armada, an angry storm cloud or something even more radical, like the floating head of Don Rickles? You’ll just have to see the movie to find out. Either that or read it on the Internet five minutes after the movie comes out.
Fido
Friday, June 15
Rated PG-13
You always begged your mom for a puppy, but she said you couldn’t handle the responsibility. Eventually you might have received a dog, but you probably learned very quickly that dog ownership isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be. Yes, having a pet is hard work. You have to feed it, clean it, keep it healthy and entertain it. If only there were a pet that required no responsibility at all. Something like…a pet zombie!
Thanks to the invention of special control collars, zombies in this alternate 1950s timeline have been domesticated to do all the laborious grunt work such as milk delivery and taking out the garbage. One family gets a lovely zombie of its very own to help around the house, and soon a deep friendship is formed between the flesh-eating abomination and the alienated young boy in the household. It’s just like “Lassie,” except with brain eating.
DOA: Dead or Alive
Friday, June 15
Rated PG-13
The Dead or Alive games boast a fun and intricate fighting system that revolves around counterattacks and combos instead of shooting fireballs at people. The games also boast another defining feature that every single piece of promo and marketing material focuses on. This one feature is so popular that it inspired a spinoff game devoted to nothing but beach volleyball. This feature is, of course, the series’ critically acclaimed writing.
The games also feature attractive women in various states of undress who wield their heaving bosoms with skill and grace. Naturally, it’s a perfect game to adapt into a film. The lovely ladies of DOA are played in the film version by Jaime Pressly (“My Name Is Earl”), Devon Aoki (“Sin City”) and Sarah Carter (“Smallville”). As if that wasn’t enough, Eric Roberts is also in the movie! It’s no “Best of the Best 5,” but we’ll take whatever Eric Roberts kung-fu action we can get these days.
VIDEO GAMES
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Friday, June 15
Nintendo Wii, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, PlayStation 2, Nintendo DS
$59.99/$49.99
After you finish watching the First Family of Marvel on the silver screen, come home and literally take control of them in the requisite licensed video games! You can take control of all four members of the superhero group and switch between them on the fly, utilizing their magnificent powers to defeat evil villains like Doctor Doom, Terrax and Super Skrull.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like you’ll be able to play as the Silver Surfer. This has to dampen the spirits of any video game fans who were eagerly anticipating the ability to play as a naked silver spaceman with a surfboard. Honestly, is there anyone who wouldn’t want to do that? In fact, EVERY game should feature naked silver spacemen on surfboards. Master Chief doesn’t have anything on that.
Tenchu Z
Tuesday, June 12
Xbox 360
$59.99
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 Have there really been eight Tenchu games? It feels just like yesterday when we were all playing the original, heavily pixilated Tenchu: Stealth Assassins on PlayStation. Ah, 1998. Those were the good old days.
After a few missteps here and there, the Tenchu series has a real chance of redemption with the latest game. Instead of picking from pre-established characters, Tenchu Z allows you to create your own deadly ninja and develop his martial arts skills through an experience system. You can also get online with Xbox Live for four-player cooperative play! Yeah, most ninjas tend to be solitary and work alone, but it’s also fun to play with friends. Too bad most of your cooperative sessions will be with angry 12-year-olds hurling profanities over the team-speak. Those kids dishonor the bushido code.
TELEVISION
Ghost in the Shell: Solid State Society
Monday, June 11
11 p.m.
Sci-Fi Channel
Anime is taking over late-night television. Adult Swim and G4 already show plenty of it and now Sci-Fi is getting in on the action. If this anime explosion continues, soon none of us will be able to catch “Cheaters” or “Cops” at 2 in the morning anymore.
Sci-Fi’s Ani-Monday kicks off with the premiere of the latest chapter in the Ghost in the Shell saga. It’s based on the “Stand Alone Complex” series you may have checked out on Adult Swim. If you’re new to the series, all you really need to know is that it involves crazy terrorist stuff in the future and lots of cyberpunk insanity. Just sit back and let yourself be entertained by all the pretty flashing lights.
COMICS
Annihilation: Conquest Prologue #1
Dan Abnett (W); Andy Lanning (W); Mike Perkins (A)
Marvel Comics
After lying dormant on the dusty shelves of the Marvel Universe for years, all those snazzy space characters got a real chance to shine in last year’s Annihilation series. Readers got to see just how cool Nova, Silver Surfer, Super Skrull and Galactus could really be. That Civil War nonsense was small potatoes compared to Annihilus threatening to destroy the entire universe.
This time around, there are even more obscure cosmic characters for you to know and love. The new Quasar makes her presence known while Star-Lord and Wraith join the fray as well. Ronan, Moondragon and Super Skrull might also be involved in some capacity. Of course, you can’t have Annihilation without Nova, so you’ll need to pick up the tie-in issues of Richard Rider’s ongoing series as well. Just ask Ben Morse for a copy—he’ll be happy to send one to you.
X-Men: Endangered Species #1
Mike Carey (W); Scot Eaton (A)
Marvel Comics
Mutants are an endangered species in the Marvel Universe, but they haven’t been put on the protected species list or anything. That’s typical of the anti-mutant bias shown by the U.S. government. The panda and the red wolf get protection but the guy with metal claws coming out of his hands gets nothing? It doesn’t matter how adorable some endangered furry animal is, the guy with claws is always going to be cooler and more deserving of federal aid.
The X-Men have been on the backburner, as far as big events go, since House of M. After basically sitting on their hands during Civil War and World War Hulk, the mutants finally get to take center stage once again with their latest big-time event. It all kicks off in this one-shot issue, then launches into high gear with X-Men #200. After that you’ll have to buy all the assorted X-titles to get the story. Don’t act like you won’t either. You’re weak. Weak!
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