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A look at the biggest comics, movies, TV and video game releases for this week
By Wade Gum |
Posted July 23, 2007 9:55 AM |
MOVIES
The Simpsons Movie
Friday, July 27
Rated PG-13
It’s been talked about for years, but now it’s finally here—“The Simpsons Movie.” Say what you will about the quality of the television show over the past decade: Deep inside, you know you still love it and long to see Bart on the big screen. You can see him tell Homer to eat his shorts—on the big screen! You can see Homer choke Bart—on the big screen! You might even get to see the Bumblebee Man—on the big screen!
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Skinwalkers
Friday, July 27
Rated PG-13
Skinwalkers are people with the ability to shape-shift and turn into any animal they want. They mostly turn into werewolves though, because no one really wants to shape-shift into a manatee or a lemming.
Werewolves versus vampires was a neat diversion with the “Underworld” series, but now it’s time to get back to basics and just have the werewolves fight each other. Rival packs take each other on in this film and do battle to see who will be recognized as the greatest werewolves on the planet. If only Wolfman Jack were still around—he’d show them all how it’s done.
VIDEO GAMES
Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the ’80s
Tuesday, July 24
PlayStation 2
$49.99
If the rock lives within you and nothing can stop it, then prepare to be milked for even more money with the latest Guitar Hero installment. Who cares if the PlayStation 2 is antiquated and passé? You’ll pay 50 bucks for 30 songs and like it!
More of an expansion pack than an actual sequel, this installment features bands from the decade of long hair and neon T-shirts, including Poison, the Go-Gos, A Flock of Seagulls, the Scorpions, Dio, Twisted Sister, .38 Special, the Police, Billy Squier, Winger, Judas Priest and Anthrax. Wow, look at all that musical talent. It’s enough to fill an entire VH1 retrospective on the ’80s. You can even have Michael Ian Black throw a few pithy comments in there.
NASCAR 08
Tuesday, July 24
Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PlayStation 2
$59.99/$39.99
Get ready to take a lot of left turns in the greatest NASCAR simulation of them all! Now you too can drive around for a couple of hours and do a backflip off a car after you win. As good a series as this is, it won’t be a complete NASCAR experience until it allows you to start brawls with other racers, get on sports radio and make moronic comments and generally be a jerk to everyone who crosses your path. They can call it the “Tony Stewart Simulation Mode.” Come on, EA. Make it happen!
COMIC BOOKS
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 Batman #666
Grant Morrison (W); Andy Kubert, Jesse Delperdang (A)
DC Comics
Take a trip through time with the number of the beast and Batman’s son Damian. Set 15 years in the future, this issue depicts the brutal and destructive end of Gotham City as Armageddon approaches—you know, the typical stuff that happens in any issue of Batman. It’s weird, but it’s Grant Morrison, so it’s probably really good as well. As an added bonus, it might even ship this week! Wouldn’t that be novel?
TELEVISION
Who Wants to Be a Superhero?
Thursday, July 26
9 p.m. EST
Sci Fi Channel
Why do people want to be superheroes? It’s all work and little reward. Who wants to bust their hump day in and day out to save the lives of people too helpless to save themselves? Balancing the superhero lifestyle with a secret identity is an even bigger pain and inevitably leads to something catastrophic, like finding your dead girlfriend stuffed inside your fridge.
Nevertheless, plenty of people are just champing at the bit to be the next caped crusader. It’s up to Stan “The Man” Lee to decide which of them embodies the principles necessary to be an avenger for right. Tune in and see people debase themselves for your own perverse amusement!
The Two Coreys
Sunday, July 29
10 p.m. EST
A&E
In the ’80s, Corey Feldman and Corey Haim were princes among men. Then the ’90s hit and everything went to crap. Feldman started dressing like Michael Jackson and started an awful singing career, while Haim couldn’t even find work in the direct-to-video sector and got hooked on every substance known to man.
Now it’s a new millennium and the two Coreys have started to turn things around. Feldman is married and involved with numerous liberal causes and Haim isn’t selling his rotten teeth on eBay anymore. What better way to show the world that the Coreys are back and ready for action than a reality show? Trust us, they need the money.
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