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You're in for a suprise if you tune into Fox's brand new Cops special: Caught In The Act. This episode, besides the normal fare of drunks and psychos, features a few NES characters...CAUGHT IN THE ACT! Here's an exclusive sneak peek:
Blue Narc: Well, we've been called out here on a domestic disturbance. One of the spouses is reportedly verbally assaulting his wife and is threatening to kill her.
Red Narc: Ugh. These white trash drunks make me SICK.
Red Narc: @#!%*! It's Master Higgins!
Blue Narc: Stop playing Adventure Island on the damn monitor!
Red Narc: No man! Master Higgins is beating his wife!
Blue Narc: What a sick bastard! Look at that face! This dude deserves to fry!
Red Narc: Nice hat though.
Blue Narc: What the hell is wrong with you complimenting a sadistic wife beater....waitaminute. DAMN! That is a sweet hat!
Red Narc: If only I had one of those hats...
Blue Narc: Don't get me started! Let's get in there and do our jobs.
Blue Narc: What's going on here! Start talkin'
Higgins: That b**** over there spilt my beer!
Jeannie: I didn't mean to!
Red Narc: You're hitting her for spilling beer? You sick s***bag!
Higgins: You don't understand. She spilled it on MY HAT
Blue Narc: Holy s***...
Red Narc: Is this true Miss?
Jeannie: I didn't mean to!
Blue Narc: Do you realize what a kick a** hat that is? LOOK at it!
Jeannie: It's not a cool hat! It's a horrible hat! I HATE IT AND I HATE YOU!
Higgins: You B****!
Higgins throws his handy hatchet at Jeannie put it falls short and hits Red Narc
Red Narc: AHH!
Blue Narc: NO! JOHNNY!
Red Narc: ARGH! My name is Joseph you a**!
Blue Narc: NO! JOSEPH!
Higgins: See what you made me do now?
Jeannie: I HATE YOU!
Blue Narc: Don't let go Tito! Please don't let go!
Red Narc: I said my name was....Joseph...you...a**...
Blue Narc: Don't die Hulio! I love you!
Red Narc: You....a**...
Red Narc dies
Blue Narc: NOOOOOO! Fredrick!
Higgins: I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean any of it. You know I just get overemotional about my hat sometimes...
Jeannie: I forgive you baby. I'm sorry I spilt beer on your hat. It really is a great hat!
Higgins: You mean it baby? You like my hat?
Jeannie: I love your hat baby! Exploit my orifices you big hunk of man!
Blue Narc: You just killed my damn partner over NOTHING! DIE YOU FATA**ED MOTHER F***ER!
Blue Narc shoots a rocket at Higgins and blows him apart
Jeannie: That's police brutality you bastard!
Blue Narc: Ha ha! That's what you think honey! You'll never prove it without someone filming it! HA! This will make an excellent of episode of C.O.P.S. for you guys...oh...SH*T!
Dustin Diamond here, star of the hit shows Saved By The Bell, Saved By The Bell: The College Years, and Saved By The Bell: The New Class. Domestic abuse is no laughing matter. Domestic abuse occurs in many households, and a woman is being beaten by her husband in this country at least once every five seconds.
If you or any of your friends have been struck by their spouse, please call 1-800-656-HOPE or go to a battered women's shelter. Don't be afraid. I too have been a victim of abuse.
Once on the set of Saved By The Bell ,Dennis Haskins, otherwise known as Mr. Belding, raped me and beat me. He told me that if I ever tried to leave him that he would kill me. Now you know why I've been on Saved By The Bell for so many years.
But just last week I summoned the courage to leave Dennis and forge a new life on my own! Now I'm a highly successful actor! Catch me this week on PAX TV. Check your local listings for time and channel!
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