Reviewed by BkdTatrHrt
By Wisdom Tree
1991
Plot
That screenshot to the right is the full extent of this game's plot. Of course, the entire game's plot is the damn Bible, which is quite a lot of plot. I haven't read much of the Bible, so I can't tell you how closely the game sticks to the plot, but I don't think the three wise men had to jump across floating pillars to get to Jesus.
The plots followed in this game are the three wise men's trek to find baby Jesus, Joseph running away with baby Jesus to get to Egypt, and Joseph and Mary trying to find a toddler Jesus in the city of Egypt.
After you beat each level, you get a well drawn ending screen and a screen after that stating that you have one the game, but are not truly victorious until you accept Jesus Christ into your heart. Haw. This game has a nice plot, but only if you have knowledge of the Bible.
10% out of 20%
Sound
The sound is nothing to write home about in King Of Kings. Each of the three games in this cart gets about one song to be played throughout that entire game.
For the first one, you get to hear "We Three Kings" over and over until you just want to give up on the whole giving gifts to Jesus thing and go home. Wisdom Tree probably put a little bit of effort into these tunes, but it's obvious that it wasn't enough.
This game is just begging for some good tunes or sound FX to take the music's place. God wasn't with them on this one.
5% out of 15%
Graphics
They're not the best graphics in the world, but it's obvious that Wisdom Tree at least tried to add some texture to the graphics. Unfortunately, they added so many textures that it ends up looking like one big, black, jumbled mess.
The only one of the games that doesn't have the whole jumbled black lines mess is the Three Wise Men game. The Search For Jesus game has a few levels that aren't messy, but those levels are just plain bland.
8% out of 15%
Gameplay
The gameplay here is anything but top notch. The worst thing about it is the horrid play control.
There is one level in the third game (Search For Jesus or something), where you must jump from roof to roof in an Egyptian town, and Mary flat out REFUSES to jump when you press the button. You will literally have to smash the button down four or five times to get her to jump.
Then on the Three Wise Men game, the wise men are all too eager to jump and fly all over the place. There is never a time where the play control isn't too tight or too loose. This severely affects gameplay, and makes it more of a chore to beat the levels.
7% out of 15%
Spoffy Extras
Superific Bible Quizzes! HOORAY! In order to get your energy back once you have lost it, you have to answer questions about the Bible.
They range from the easy, to the difficult, to the so insanely hard that you have to actually go and READ a Bible to find out the answer (unless you're some kind of insane religous zealot). It's not fun to start out with, but when the questions start repeating only after five minutes of play, then it gets even less entertaining.
Maybe if you're one of those little happy-go-lucky Bible boys who wears ties and black pants, and claps when a new episodes of Veggietales and Superbook premiere on the Bible TV station, then you oughta love it!
3% out of 10%
Fun & Longetivity
As many strikes as this game has against it, it just emits some kind of charm that makes it so that you cannot put it down until you see the cheesy endings for each of the games. And to the game even easier to become addicted to, Wisdom Tree gives you infinite lives to beat it with.
Sometimes it gets frustrating, but it's still hard as hell to put down, and you'll probably be picking it up for another play on a rainy day. Yet as cool as it is, the play control still takes a serious chomp out of the fun and makes you want to curse god's name without end.
10% out of 25%
Praise the lord BABY!
Overall: 43% out of 100% |
