Tato: Okay now Tecmo Bowl. I want to interview that blue guy third from the top on the field. Sir, you're in a game that is considered a revolutionary game that truly set the standard for all football games. How do you feel about this?

TecmoBowl: Set, down, HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT...

Tato: Mmmkay. Let me ask...

TecmoBowl: HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT

Tato: Maybe I should press the A button

TecmoBowl: Maybe dumb ass

Tato: What did you say?

TecmoBowl: Ummm...err...I said HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT....

Since that didn't work too well, I then tried interviewing the Smash TV guy since it was a later NES release and hopefully had more brains.

Tato: Alright now. Smash TV for NES is pretty cool since you can use two controllers to capture the true arcade feel. How did you come up with this idea.

SmashTV: Good luck, you'll need it.

Tato: Uhh...ermkay. What exactly will I need good luck for?

SmashTV: I'd buy that for a dollar!

Tato: Buy what?

SmashTV: A piece of your sweet ass. Damn boy! Shake that thing!

Tato: Erm...interesting proposal, but i'm afraid my ass goes for a little more than that.

SmashTV: Big money! Big prizes!

Tato: Now you're talkin...

Let's just say that interview ended in absolute sadness, a broken cart, a penis severely damaged by a chip board, and a trip to the hospital to remove a cart from my ass. Since this technique obviously wasn't working, I decided to try and interview something else related to NES. I started interviewing my NES tapes. They did talk back, but not in relevance to my questions...

Tato: So, can I join your video game player's league?

Tape: Buy Beeshu controllers for the ultimate in gameplay!

Tato: I already did. They go for real cheap at Funco.

Tape: To get 30 extra men in Contra instantly, get lots of points.

Tato: Wha?

Tape: Here's a tip straight from the pros: Blaster Master is hard.

Tato: Erm...this sucks.

Tape: Hey buddy! You try making art with a 2 dollar budget!

I thought I was getting a little closer. Then it hit me. How about I interview the people who starred in these videos and see where they are now? I considered it to be a brilliant idea, so I tracked down these illusive folks. It took me a while, but finally I found Skip Rogers searching for some food in a Hardees dumpster. Dumbass. Like Hardees throws away anything, they never have to cook anything!

Tato: So, Skip. What does an international legend like you do to pass the time?

Skip: Food...oh god food...so hungry...burning!

Tato: Ooookay. I'll just write down "Looks for food" as your response. Now, where exactly did you win the prestigous title of world video game champion?

Skip: I...won...a neighborhood NES tournament.

Tato: And how many people participated in this tournament?

Skip: Two...I controlled the first...and second players...in a game...of Urban Brawler.

Tato: Must have been a hard fight to win. I think i'm going to leave now Skip, it smells like shit here.

Skip: Hungry...FOOD!

At that point Skip Rogers lunged at me and took a chunk out of my side. Then he jumped around telling me to beware Quick Man because he was fast. Thanks for the tip Skip. Obviously that interview didn't work out well, so I decided to try one last interview. It took me forever to think of who to interview, but at last my creative genes showed me the answer. I would interview....Nintendo Cereal System!

Tato: So Nintendo Cereal System, what's it like to be made up of two different cereals.

NCS: It's like the yin and the yang man. Mario and Link are so different, yet so same. When they merge, they open the portal of hapiness that the butterflies flutter through and the doves frolic in. Plus, they both kick ass. It's one big party all year. We just chill and tap a keg of milk, then party till' we go soggy.

Tato: When were you born?

NCS: I myself was manufactured 12 years ago.

Tato: So you've been expired for 11 years?

NCS: Yep.

Tato: Do you reckon you still taste good?

NCS: Uhh..why?