Zombie movies aren't an international past time. In fact, the only countries that seem to produce zombie movies are the United States and Italy (although 28 Days Later allowed the British to join the fray). We need more diversity in the zombie movie universe!

In recent years, the Australian region has begun to get in on the zombie craze, with New Zealand's awesome Dead Alive and now another Australian effort: Undead. Unfortunately, there are no kangaroo or aborigine zombies to be found in this movie. Sadder still, Paul Hogan doesn't show up and start cutting up zombies with a big assed bowie knife.

Oh well, you can't have everything. What you do get is one of the biggest zombie ass kickers in the history of cinema and a fresh, original plot. In fact, the plot is so unique that I'd encourage you to stop reading this article if at any point you become really interested in seeing the movie. It's going to be released here theatrically and could use the support.

There's a lot going on in Berkeley, Australia. Rene Chaplin, the newest "Catch of the Day Queen", is in deep trouble. He parents died and left their farm to her, but along with it came a lot of debt that she couldn't pay. Beaten and dejected after losing the farm, she calls her grandmother and begs her to let her stay for a while.

She bums a ride with a really sleazy man who happens to be an agent of some sorts. He's the most annoying exaggerated caricature of an agent I've ever seen, chewing his gum loudly while talking on a cell phone and oozing that "I'm a worthless fuck" charm.

The film then shows a selection of the locals out doing their local thing. This is the horror movie way of saying "We want you to be a little familiar with these people before we kill them off in horrifying ways." The film makes good on this promise as an old lady in a whicker hat buys some food from a local bakery, then promptly gets hit by a flaming object falling from the sky while two drunks debate over a map. The old lady eventually gets up, no worse for the wear other than the fact that she now has a gaping hole in the middle of her torso.

Oh yeah, she's also a zombie and tears one of the drunk guy's heads off. Not much of a change since she used to tear people's heads off for stealing her Werther's Originals. Rene and her agent friend are unable to get out of town because the road is blocked by abandoned cars. After checking out the situation, the agent returns to inform Rene but gets pulled under the car and eaten by a hungry zombie.

Rene climbs outside armed with the CLUB Anti-theft device and uses it to split the torso of the zombie in half. The agent rises from the dead and begins to come toward Rene when a mysterious stranger comes onto the scene. Remember when Reggie Bannister made that awesome double shotgun in Phantasm II? Well, this guy is even awesomer as he has fused THREE shotguns together!

He shoots the agent and the force of the blast separates his upper body from his legs, but the legs stay upright and walking. Mystery man tips his hat to the lady and vanishes back into mystery. Rene chooses to vanish into the woods in flight.

As luck would have it, rain begins to pour from the sky. But this is burning rain ala Return of the Living Dead which only motivates Rene to haul some more ass while mysterious tractor beams fall from the sky and start to make insects rise up into the heavens.

Rene busts into a shack that happens to be none other than that of the mysterious stranger! He takes care of the place while the MASTER is away. He's pretty much Torgo without the knees.

Some more travelers try to take the road Rene and the agent went and are stopped at the same car pileup. The woman driving the car gets out to survey the damage where she meets up with a teenage girl zombie in a teddy bear shirt. The zombie punches her entire first through the lady's head as if she was Little Mac taking on Glass Joe.

Naturally, the other two car passengers (a pregnant girl and her boyfriend) piss their pants and run off into the woods, eventually getting to Torgo's house. I'm beginning to detect a pattern here. The pattern continues when two cops bust into the house for shelter.

We'll call them asshole cop and woman cop because that's all they are to me. Since the dumbass cops were gracious enough to shoot the lock off the door, zombies begin to flood into the house and it's up to Torgo to shoot them all gangster style. He busts out some fancy moves, such as shooting zombies with his pistols, throwing them into the air, whipping out a shotgun to shoot zombies behind him, and then turning around in time to catch the pistols and shoot more zombies.

These zombies don't go down easy so everyone retreats down into the basement where Torgo keeps his fortified bomb shelter. Since all cops in movies are dumb as shit, they confiscate Torgo's guns as he doesn't have a permit handy.

Torgo is the only one who knows what shit is going down at this point. According to him, the invasion has come and it's the end of the world. All these good guys have been sent to him because they are "the chosen ones" who will stand and fight.

No one else is having any part of that, especially asshole cop. Being in such a close space together, it's only natural that all the people start bickering with each other. The pregnant girl, who was last year's "Catch of the Day Queen”, takes the opportunity to bitch out Rene because she felt that she made a shitty Queen.

Rene asks about the fishing lure that Torgo wears around his neck to which he replies that it's good luck. Hey kids, do you know what time it is? IT'S FLASHBACK TIME. In the flashback, Torgo is having a relaxing day fishing when a flaming object from the sky hits the fish in his boat, resurrecting them and creating ZOMBIE FISH.

The fish leap up and attack, but Torgo punches them all in the face before taking his gun out of the tackle box and blasting them into pieces. Those Barker Bill's Trick Shooting skills finally served a purpose.

Rain begins to fall on him and only him, and when Torgo looks up he can see a gigantic mother ship straight out of ID4. Unfortunately, the flashback dream is interrupted by the scream of pregnant girl.

Pregnant girl is having her baby so everyone's got to leave and try to find help. Torgo busts out his bag of weapons but once again gets them confiscated. The crew heads upstairs to get the keys to Torgo's car but when asshole cop reaches for the keys a zombie busts his arm through the wall and grabs him.

The asshole cop drops his shotgun so Torgo stomps on the handle, causing it to flip up into the air where he catches it and blows off the zombie's arm. Torgo is in serious contention to become the coolest zombie ass kicker since Bruce Campbell.

Zombies start to pour into the house again, so Torgo shoots out his arms which make the hidden pistols inside his overalls flip out into his hands Equilibrium style. This is one serious kick ass hermit. Torgo continues his streak of kick assedness by making his way back to the kitchen and grabbing his triple shotgun and blasting some zombies with it.

One of the zombies to make his way back into the house is the agent from the beginning of the movie who apparently found a way to stick his torso back on his legs. Rene barely grazes him with a bullet and his torso slides off once again. I smell a running joke and I like it.

Asshole cop uses his shotgun to blow away the crotch region on the agent's still standing legs, causing the agent zombie to cry. I'm sympathizing with a sleazy agent zombie, imagine that.

The triple shotgun is out of ammo, so Torgo plays a Neo, jumping off a zombie's back and digging the spurs of his boots into a doorway, whipping out his guns, and then shooting some zombies upside down.

I'm seriously near the point of building a Torgo shrine in a closet with my own feces now. I told you these zombies were tough to kill, and all the supposedly dead zombies reaffirm this by popping up again in unison. The good guys run upstairs in retreat.

While going upstairs a zombie attacks Torgo. He head butts it twice and then shoots it point blank in the forehead, figuring out the magical fact that shooting a zombie in the brain kills them.

Once upstairs, Torgo proves that not only is he a motherfucking pimp but he's smart as well. He uses the triple shotgun to blast through the floor, allowing the good guys to drop into the garage without encountering zombies.

While dropping down to the garage, zombies burst into the room but Rene whips out a pistol and shoots the first zombie in the head. The bullet travels through his head and through the heads of the two zombies behind them. Rene drops three zombies in one shot. Does everyone in the film kick heaps of zombie ass or what?

The crew piles into Torgo's van and they're off, smashing three zombies with the van in the process. The ride is short as the van comes up on something quite odd - A GIANT SPIKED WALL FROM BEYOND!

Torgo knows the deal - this wall was built by aliens to keep them from escaping the zombies. Still, no one will believe him. Honestly, if comets are falling from the sky, zombies are on the loose, acid rain is falling, insects are being lifted into the sky, weird ass smoke is in the sky, and a giant spiked wall appears out of nowhere, I think I'd be ready to believe in aliens.

Asshole cop, being a genius, decides to try and climb up the wall. He'll have a 15 second head start, then Nitro will climb up behind him and try to drag him down.

The smoke in the air is making everyone sick. Torgo eventually passes out in a coughing fit and launches into his flashback again. Standing in his fishing boat, Torgo fires a few shots at the spaceship above him before being hit with a blinding light.

He awakens from his dream to find that it's night and the rest of the gang is still watching asshole cop climb. He climbs high enough to touch the smoky clouds which electrocute his hand. The female police officer collapses in a coughing fit.

Rene goes to pick her up but she springs back to life as a zombie. Meanwhile, it begins to rain and asshole cop loses his grip, falling back to the ground. The pregnant lady, her boyfriend, and Rene run back into the car.

Their clothes begin to burn and so they strip them off, leaving Rene in nothing but her bra and panties. My love for this movie grows more and more by the second.

Torgo drapes a tarp over himself and goes to check on female cop, who has somehow turned back into a human and is mourning over asshole cop's body.

She gets hit with a blinding ray of light and sucked up into the sky like the insects. With both cops gone, this movie can become even more awesome!

One of the Undertaker's druids appears at the base of the wall. I bet he's going to crucify asshole cop on a "symbol." Apparently it's an alien. Torgo wants to stay and fight it, but the boyfriend puts a gun to his head and makes him drive off.

The crew hatches a plan to go to the airfield and fly over the wall, but they've got to stop in town and get supplies first. The crew heads to the Berkely General Store with guns in tow. This scene is double important since it features TORGO MAN ASS. Torgo is a hardcore pimp, and as such he was apparently going commando under his overalls.

The group loots a lot of food and other crap from the store. Rene stumbles onto some clothes and everyone gets dressed. NOOOOOOOOOOO! GOD DAMNIT. This is the first shitty thing this movie has done so far and it makes me very sad that I don't get to gaze at Rene's breasts and Torgo's ass anymore.

Rene also takes a lasso with her, the same instrument she used to win the Catch of the Day Queen. I guess she roped cattle or something. Torgo finishes telling his flashback story to Rene. After he was hit with the white light, the aliens apparently put him right back on Earth without a scratch. He thinks that he fought them off; everyone else knows something is fishy.

Boyfriend gets attacked by a zombie but Rene blasts it with the triple shotgun. She's about to shoot it again but Torgo stops her and suggests that she conserve her ammo. He then whips two hidden guns out of his pants. If he was completely naked before and he didn't get the guns from the store, then those guns must have been stored up inside his...oh, my. This guy doesn't fuck around.

Torgo gets attacked by a zombie. He shakes up a can of energy drink and shoves it in the zombie's mouth. He then pushes away from the zombie, grabs an ink pen, the hurls it at the can, causing it and the zombie's head to explode. Is he supposed to be Bullseye or something?

Rene implants a shovel into the top of one zombie's head. He tries to walk towards her but the shovel catches on a sign and ends up pulling his entire face off. Good god this movie rocks. Rene attaches a saw blade to the tip of a stick and eviscerates an entire gang of zombies. Meanwhile the other good guys manage to shoot one of the druid aliens that shows up.

When they run outside to get in the van, they're attacked by three more druids and Torgo is sucked up into the sky by a beam of light. FUCKING SHIT! The remaining three speed off to the airfield. While trying to get to the plane they get accosted by zombies.

When it looks like death is inevitable, some of the zombies start to turn into regular people once again. Immediately after they change into humans, the white light comes from the heavens and beams them up, just like it did for the cop lady.

Rene uses her gay lasso to tie up a zombie about to attack pregnant lady then throws it at the plane propeller. End result- filleted zombie. Rene and the pregnant lady speed off in the van while the boyfriend hops in the plane.

The white light hits pregnant lady through the top of the fan and tries to suck her up, pinning her against the ceiling. Rene drives the van back to the same multi-car pileup from the beginning of the film and crashes it into a tree.

The roof of the fan finally gives way and pregnant lady gets sucked up into the sky. Rene stumbles out of the car and a few druid aliens approach her. She picks up the CLUB from the beginning of the film to defend herself. The alien throws a weird water blob at Rene's head that somehow heals her wounds. Curiouser and curiouser.

The boyfriend manages to fly through the electrical cloud and over the wall, and what's on the other side is certainly strange as hell. It's a bunch people floating in the sky! He ends up hitting a few of the people with the front of his plane, including the female cop from earlier.

Back on solid ground, one of the druids has revealed his true alien self to Rene. The white light comes from the sky and sucks Rene up, making her part of the great army of floating people in the sky. The boyfriend's plane begins to go down, so he straps on a parachute and jumps down.

He touches down on the other side of the wall to find lots of police officers in hazmat suits and a gathering of young people rocking out in front of the wall with signs such as "Take me to your leader!" It's a big rocking party. The white lights touch down inside the wall and the people in the air are lowered back to the ground confused, but unharmed.

The smoke evaporates and the wall comes apart and shoots up into space. The next day, everyone from Berkeley is chilling in the hospital, confused by their experience.

Revelation time people: fragments of a nearby comet rocketed to Earth and caused the zombie infection to spread. The good hearted aliens put a wall over the infection area and used their healing rains to cleanse all the zombies of the virus and make them normal again.

The white light beaming was to keep them safe while they rounded up all the other zombies. Therefore when the heroes shot and killed the zombies, they were murdering them and preventing them from being cured. Thus the aliens fixed up the whole mess.

Or they WOULD have, if the boyfriend hadn't flown over the damn wall, meaning that he didn't get cleansed and is still infected with the virus. He stumbles into town the next day and collapses on the way to meet his girlfriend in the hospital.

He gets up off the ground as a zombie and promptly eats the neck of Torgo. The infection spreads quicker this time and goes beyond the town.

Rene takes up the cause of Torgo, putting on his cowboy boots and brandishing the triple shotgun and gathering the survivors on the site of her old farm to form a resistance.

On the farm ground she has a giant cage to hold the zombies, including the boyfriend, girlfriend, and sadly, Torgo, in hopes that the aliens return one day to cure them. And thus the movie ends, with the Catch of the Day Queen defending her town.