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It Could Be Worse... Sure, the Cloak and Dagger movie seems like a horrible idea, and sure, no one is interested in it in the slightest. Sure, it could perhaps turn out to be one of the worst films ever committed to celluloid starring two washed up nobodies of the Marvel Universe whose only great moment in history was when one of them was killed by Carnage.
But just remember: It could have been worse. Just imagine what would happen if some of these previous Marvel characters had gotten a major motion picture: The Amazing Slapstick!  Transformed by an alien funhouse mirror into a creature with the powers of a Saturday morning cartoon character (-Read this line until it makes sense- you'll have something to read all day!), teenage prankster Steve Harmon became the most unlikely hero of all- the spectacularly surreal Slapstick!
Completely indestructable, able to pull objects out of the air and possessing a totally radical sense of humor, Slapstick doesn't just fighting crime- he plays cruel tricks on it! Has the official Marvel Comic spiel of Slapstick changed your opinion of him? With the power to last all of four issues, Slapstick is a hero to be feared!
I'm sure it would be a delightfully charming film, and might even have GREAT sound effect balloons pop out when Slapstick hit people like "BOING!" or "KAZOOM!" It would sure be one "wacky" movie, wouldn't it kids?
Imagine it! Slapstick dolls, Slapstick T-Shirts, Slapstick Panty Liners! Slapstick Mania would be unavoidable should he get a movie. Or maybe not.
Slapstick was undoubtedly one of the lamest comic creations ever by Marvel, and anyone who read the comic, all six of you, are probably going into convulsions over the mere thought of him getting a movie.
I encourage you to track down an issue of Slapstick at one of the two comic dealers still open in the country (that's an exaggeration, but not much of one), look at it, and then wash your hands. Cloak and Dagger will start to look good in comparison. Speedball!
Yet another "wacky" character created by the braintrust of Marvel for us to love. Apparantly, Marvel felt that "wacky" characters were in at the time.
Unfortunately, wacky characters have NEVER been in style. Speedball was created in hopes of becoming the next Spider-Man and a classic character by Marvel, but unfortunately, that wasn't meant to be.
The reason Speedball could never be the next Spider-Man would have to deal with one of them sucking to a level that's just plain embarassing, and I'll leave it to you to figure which one of the two falls under that description.
His origin is bad enough- he was bombarded with extradimensional energy. That's the second biggest copout origin of them all, the first being falling into chemicals. Me and my friends would stage many racks full of dangerous chemicals and then fall into them in hopes of getting powers, but all it did was make Jerry grow a third testicle and Hank turn into a Swamp Thing like creature.
And since I don't have time to wait around all day for alien extradimensional space rays to strike me and make me a superhero, I'm all out of luck. Stupid origins. And even if I were bombarded by an extradimensional space ray, if all it did was give me the awesome "bouncing off of things" power that Speedball had I'd be pretty pissed off.
A Speedball film would be an unimaginable nightmare. Think Spider-Man without the charm, without the humor, without the skill, and without the keen fashion sense, and you've good ole' Speedball!The Watcher!
Come one come all! Come see "The Watcher" movie! Watch in excitement as The Watcher watches something happen.
Hang on the edge of your seat as you stare at the Watcher...watching something else happen! Bite-your-nails excitement as The Watcher states for the 4858th time that he is sworn never to interfere- and then interferes!
Watch in amazement as The Watcher watches something and then wonders what would have happened if something else had happened in that same scenerio! Gaze in wonderment as a woman slaps a restraining order on the Watcher for looking at her changing clothes outside her window! I'm ordering my tickets NOW!X-Babies!
I can only sit by and imagine the board meeting at which the X-Babies were first created. However horrible I imagine that meeting to be, it was probably worse. The creators probably didn't even know what a horrible thing they were unleashing on the world.
Naive fools! They will pay someday for the vile creatures they have unleashed. While actually not that bad in themselves, a movie based on them certainly would be.
Jack Lloyd as Cyclops! Verne Troyer as Wolverine! Warwick Davis as Colossus! I must pray that the X-Men movie franchise never becomes TOO popular, because if it does...there's always a chance...Even though the proceeding isn't a comic character, it is a comic book, and if it were to be made into a film would undoubtedly be the most vile comic movie since Captain America. It is...
Superman Versus Muhammad Ali! I think the picture itself speaks volumes, so I'll neglect commenting on it.
I hope this article helped you see that things could most certainly be worse. I'm sure there's plenty of other super heros out there that would make horrible films, and if you've got one, post it on the forums. Don't worry, it's not too crowded to post in there!-Film Spy Tato
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