| 2007 Articles | 2006 Articles| 2005 Articles|
 DVD REVIEW: EUREKA - SEASON ONE July 29, 2007
The smartest little town in America.
 DVD REVIEW: DELIVERY June 15, 2007
Under 30 minutes or you don't get brutally killed.
 DVD REVIEW: MEATBALL MACHINE June 12, 2007
That's a spicy meatball powered killing machine!
 DVD REVIEW: JESSE STONE - DEATH IN PARADISE May 22, 2007
Fear the moustache of Jesse Stone.
 DVD REVIEW: JESSE STONE - NIGHT PASSAGE May 21, 2007
Tom Selleck is troubled! He drinks scotch a lot!
 DVD REVIEW: THE LAST SIN EATER May 12, 2007
Sin - tastes good and good for you.
 DVD REVIEW: SHOGUN ASSASSIN 2 May 10, 2007
Ride in the baby cart to Hades!
 DVD REVIEW: CINDERELLA April 17, 2007
This is no fairy tale.
 DVD REVIEW: BLACK CHRISTMAS April 16, 2007
Silent night, deadly night.
 DVD REVIEW: THE GRAVEDANCERS March 25, 2007
We did the headless boogie.
 DVD REVIEW: THE HAMILTONS March 24, 2007
Like the Waltons but with more murder.
 DVD REVIEW: DARK RIDE March 23, 2007
Worse than the Dixie Classic Fair.
 DVD REVIEW: BIT PARTS March 1, 2007
Of boobies and botched surgeries.
 DVD REVIEW: BLOODY TIES February 21, 2007
Busan's busiest drug dealers collide.
 DVD REVIEW: FACING THE GIANTS January 30, 2007
God's taking the over on this one.
 DVD REVIEW: GYMKATA January 24, 2007
Are you ready to play the game and ride a pommel horse?
 DVD REVIEW: THE WICKER MAN January 4, 2007
Not the bees! My legs!
 DVD REVIEW: THE COMPLETE PLUTO - VOLUME 2 January 1, 2007
All the bitches on the block line up for Pluto.
 DVD REVIEW: TACTICS - VOLUME 1 December 25, 2006
Faces in funny places.
 DVD REVIEW: THE BEST OF MR. BEAN December 20, 2006
Those funny, funny Brits.
 DVD REVIEW: EXTREME CHICKFIGHTS November 19, 2006
The worst fight club on the planet.
 DVD REVIEW: TALES FROM THE CRYPT - SEASON FIVE November 13, 2006
More fun than you can wave an awful pun at.
 DVD REVIEW: HARVEY BIRDMAN - VOLUME TWO November 11, 2006
Who is the cat with the beak?
 DVD REVIEW: RESERVOIR DOGS - 15TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION November 6, 2006
Stuck in the middle with you.
 DVD REVIEW: BORDER WAR October 29, 2006
It's Minutemen vs illegal aliens in the war to end all wars!
 DVD REVIEW: REST STOP October 20, 2006
The deadliest bathroom you'll ever see.
 DVD REVIEW: BLOOD TEA & RED STRING October 18, 2006
Ain't no party like a drunk mice party.
 DVD REVIEW: COMBAT DIARY September 27, 2006
An account of the Iraq war from the perspective of soldiers.
 DVD REVIEW: DESPERATION September 17, 2006
Another Stephen King adaptation gone horribly wrong.
 DVD REVIEW: CEMETERY OF TERROR & GRAVE ROBBERS September 6, 2006
Axes to the noggin and evil zombies reign supreme in Mexico.
 DVD REVIEW: CURSE OF THE DOLL PEOPLE & NIGHT OF THE BLOODY APES August 30, 2006
The correct term these days is "little people."
 DVD REVIEW: DALLAS - SEASON FIVE August 8, 2006
This season's cliffhanger - who moved my cheese?
 DVD REVIEW: NEW WORLD July 31, 2006
French people secretly yearn to be American.
 DVD REVIEW: THE IN-LAWS July 25, 2006
Zany mismatched families come together for a wedding.
 DVD REVIEW: GETTING PLAYED July 18, 2006
Anyone who watched this movie got played.
 DVD REVIEW: THE HOWLING PARTS V & VI July 16, 2006
Shut up and stop howling already.
 DVD REVIEW: RAPE IS A CIRCLE July 8, 2006
Just because you can make a movie doesn't mean you should.
 DVD REVIEW: MIMIC 3 July 4, 2006
The killer cockroaches return.
 DVD REVIEW: ASYLUM June 22, 2006
You can never get enough killer dolls, right?
 DVD REVIEW: CACHE June 12, 2006
Be thrilled as nothing happens for 90 minutes.
 DVD REVIEW: THE KIDS IN THE HALL - SESAON FOUR May 23, 2006
I ain't gonna spread for no roses.
 DVD REVIEW: THE TOWERING INFERNO May 12, 2006
Steve McQueen is hot.
 DVD REVIEW: THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE May 11, 2006
Ernest Borgnine is not.
 DVD REVIEW: NATURAL CITY May 10, 2006
The Korean version of 'The Matrix,' except it sucks.
 DVD REVIEW: RITUAL May 5, 2006
The Cryptkeeper's latest direct-to-video garbage.
 DVD REVIEW: THE PRIZE WINNER OF DEFIANCE, OHIO April 10, 2006
The first desperate housewife.
 DVD REVIEW: THE GREATEST GAME EVER PLAYED April 9, 2006
The game is golf. The title is obviously lying.
 DVD REVIEW: SUSPICIOUS RIVER March 31, 2006
It's a Stargate SG-1 reunion with hookers!
 DVD REVIEW: SPEED RACER - VOLUME 4 March 29, 2006
You can't race away from your problems, Speed Racer.
 DVD REVIEW: VITAL March 28, 2006
The favorite film of undertakers.
 DVD REVIEW: A SOUND OF THUNDER March 27, 2006
So stupid your brain will explode.
 DVD REVIEW: A SNAKE OF JUNE March 22, 2006
Blackmail is the best way to get your rocks off.
 DVD REVIEW: PHONE March 20, 2006
Please don't call back.
 DVD REVIEW: UFC CLASSICS - VOLUME 2 February 28, 2006
The real bloodsport returns.
 DVD REVIEW: UFC CLASSICS - VOLUME 1 February 27, 2006
It's like 'Street Fighter II' but with Jim Brown.
 DVD REVIEW: DALLAS - SEASON FOUR February 8, 2006
Oil, rich people, rednecks, blah blah blah.
 DVD REVIEW: THE MAN January 24, 2006
Justification for terrorists to hate us.
 DVD REVIEW: DISNEY RARITIES December 15, 2005
Rare! No reserve! Bid now!
 DVD REVIEW: CHOPPERTOWN - THE SINNERS December 9, 2005
They're no Chopper Chicks from Zombie Town.
 DVD REVIEW: PROJECT RUNWAY - SEASON ONE December 8, 2005
Fashion can be fun.
 DVD REVIEW: PUDDLE CRUISER December 6, 2005
Broken Lizard should go drown in a puddle.
 DVD REVIEW: SCARY TRUE STORIES November 18, 2005
Two lies in one title. Impressive.
 DVD REVIEW: CHIP 'N' DALE - RESCUE RANGERS - VOLUME ONE November 17, 2005
Hot chipmunk love triangles.
 DVD REVIEW: DUCKTALES - SEASON ONE November 16, 2005
Rich old duck hates everyone and everything.
 DVD REVIEW: AMERICAN GOTHIC - THE COMPLETE SERIES November 10, 2005
Cancelled before its time.
 DVD REVIEW: FANTASY ISLAND - SEASON ONE November 5, 2005
The most lovable midget of all time.
 DVD REVIEW: CHAINED HEAT 2 October 28, 2005
Unchain my heat. Say you'll love me again.
 DVD REVIEW: EXCESSIVE FORCE II October 26, 2005
Excessive force taken to an excessive degree. Excessively.
 DVD REVIEW: THE BEST OF MADTV - SEASONS EIGHT, NINE AND TEN October 25, 2005
The "special class" of sketch comedy.
 DVD REVIEW: BLOOD OF BEASTS October 21, 2005
The fantasy genre died for a reason.
 DVD REVIEW: SINGLE WHITE FEMALE 2 October 16, 2005
The sequel you've all been waiting for.
 DVD REVIEW: THE FREAKMAKER October 13, 2005
Not a Michael Jackson documentary.
 DVD REVIEW: THE MAN WITH NINE LIVES October 4, 2005
Too bad all of them were spent in a crappy film.
 DVD REVIEW: TORTURE GARDEN October 3, 2005
Maintaining any garden is tortuous.
 DVD REVIEW: THE PROPHECY - FORSAKEN September 14, 2005
The prophecy foretold of this crappy movie franchise.
 DVD REVIEW: MINDHUNTERS September 12, 2005
The film that hunts down your brain cells and destroys them.
 DVD REVIEW: MY LEFT FOOT September 11, 2005
The hilarious sequel to 'My Right Ear.'
 DVD REVIEW: VAMPIRE ASSASSIN September 10, 2005
Blade's fat vampire hunting cousin.
 DVD REVIEW: TOY STORY - 10TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION September 4, 2005
Randy Newman sings his way into your heart.
 DVD REVIEW: LIFE AS WE KNOW IT August 29, 2005
Whiny white kid problems you can all relate to.
 DVD REVIEW: THE GLASS SHIELD August 26, 2005
Ice Cube as a criminal? No way!
 DVD REVIEW: JAMBOREE August 25, 2005
It's time to jump, jive and wail.
 DVD REVIEW: DALLAS - SEASON THREE August 14, 2005
Who shot JR? Spoiler: It was Jack Ruby.
 DVD REVIEW: WHAT'S NEW? SCOOBY-DOO - VOLUME SIX August 10, 2005
Nothing is ever new with Scooby-Doo. Never.
 DVD REVIEW: THE BARKLEYS OF BROADWAY August 9, 2005
The Barkleys say shut up and jam!
 DVD REVIEW: SPACE STATION IMAX July 27, 2005
It's boring but it's on a big screen.
 DVD REVIEW: CONFESSIONS OF AN AMERICAN BRIDE July 2, 2005
I confess: this movie is a pile of crap.
 DVD REVIEW: TWICE IN A LIFETIME June 30, 2005
One time watching this movie is enough for any lifetime.
 DVD REVIEW: THE AUTOPSY FILES June 29, 2005
Dead men tell boring tales.
 DVD REVIEW: THE THORN BIRDS - THE MISSING YEARS June 16, 2005
They should have stayed missing.
 DVD REVIEW: LOIS & CLARK - SEASON ONE June 15, 2005
Not quite as laughable as 'Superman Returns.'
 DVD REVIEW: BULLITT June 9, 2005
Bring us bullitts, bullitts, bullitts.
 DVD REVIEW: THE NARROW MARGIN June 9, 2005
Noir that will rock your socks off.
 DVD REVIEW: SPIDER-MAN - THE VENOM SAGA June 2, 2005
Animation by Ms. Flufferbottom's kindergarten class.
 DVD REVIEW: BLACK CLOUD May 31, 2005
Eye of the buffalo.
 DVD REVIEW: BAD TRIP May 30, 2005
This is no fantastic voyage.
 DVD REVIEW: ST. IVES May 29, 2005
Starring Charles Bronson and his moustache.
|