It's just plain common sense that Abobo, with his natural sexual flair and mysterious ways, does a lot of things that us mortals know absolutely nothing about. While most of these things only involve Abobo smashing something needlessly, they are still unknown to us. Is this for the better? Could our mortal minds comprehend the greatness of every step and action Abobo takes? Perhaps we can. Now, thanks to Abobo.com, you can experience the lost adventures of Abobo himself.
Prepare yourself for a haunting tale of epic proportions...
Abobo arrives at American Technos Inc, ready for the first day of making Battletoads And Double Dragon: The Ultimate Team.
Abobo: Abobo ready for close up Mr. Deville! HA HA HA! Abobo make funny!
Director: Um...yes...about that Mr. Abobo. It appears you didn't hear the news. American Technos is no more. We're tearing down the Technos building and errecting the Tradewest Inc. building in it's place. The Double Dragon sequel is being developed by Rare, we're terribly sorry about any confusion we may have caused you.
Assistant: Yes, terribly sorry.
Abobo: Abobo confused.
Abobo: Abobo want to know who is this?
New Abobo: I'm the real deal baby! Move outta the way chump!
Director: Er, Mr. Abobo, we've been forced to replace you, us going into the 16-bit era and all. This is the NEW Abobo.
Assisant: New and IMPROVED!
New Abobo: That's right sucka!
Abobo: Abobo no like new Abobo! Abobo best Abobo of all the Abobos! Better than white Abobo, better than green Abobo, and better than hairy Abobo! Abobo the best!
Director: Well Mr. Abobo, while that may be the case, you no longer have a job here, and we'll have to ask you to vacate the area. We trust you can escort yourself out. Good day.
Abobo: Abobo confused again.
Twelve hours later...
Abobo: Abobo still confused. Abobo want to be Abobo again. Abobo must beat other Abobo to prove that he is the best Abobo and become Abobo again. Abobo have PLAN!
PREPARE TO ENTER ABOBO'S IMAGINATION AS HE GOES THROUGH HIS PLAN INSIDE HIS BRILLIANT MIND! ARE YOU READY?
Abobo will go get Jimmy Lee mask.
Police Man: You're not Abobo, are you?
Abobo: No. Abobo is not Abobo. Abobo is Jimmy Lee.
Police Man: Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Go on in.
Abobo will take off Jimmy Lee mask and Abobo will infiltrate inner sanctum.
Abobo will throw bomb at New Abobo while he makes game Abobo should be in.
Abobo LAUGH!
Abobo: Then Abobo will be the best Abobo and no one will mess with Abobo, especially not other Abobos and....and...Abobo forgot what Abobo was talking about. Abobo need plan to get Abobo job back! Abobo got better plan!
Abobo: Abobo walk inside...
Director: Okay now Abobo, your motivation is that you like to smash things...A LOT!
New Abobo: Okay. How's about this...ahem...ABOBO DELIGHTS IN SMASHING!
Director: NO NO NO! That's ALL wrong!
Abobo: Abobo go into room...
Director: ABOBO!
Director: What are you doing here?!?!
Abobo: Abobo KICK!
New Abobo: OOMPH!
Abobo: ABOBO SMASH!!!
New Abobo: WHAAA!!!
Abobo: ABOBO IS BEST ABOBO AGAIN!!! Abobo says that it is the END!!!
And so ends another haunting look into the lost adventures of the man known simply as....ABOBO.
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